Yay for feedback! There are people who read this stoopid blahg grok grok who are pretty fluent when it comes to technology and they had comments to make about Volcano Mama and her Internet Tips. grok grok Excuse me a minute. (Froggy, I wasn’t talking about you and no, you can’t use Garage Band right now. Go play on the highway.) Sorry about that rude interruption.

Karen wrote, “um, aren’t ‘application’ and ‘program’ synonymous?” Dum de dum de dum. Hmmm. Good question. Didya do any research before writing that, Volcano Mama? Well, Vmom was thinking along the lines that a “program” is a generic term for a set of instructions for a computer to follow. “Application program” aka “application” is a set of instructions designed for a more specific use. Whatis.com says it pretty well. Vmom thought her intended audience might get confused by “application” alone. Say what? Application? For what? A spot in the assisted living facility? Get the drift?

Then the Marquis (or maybe it was the Grand Poohbah, I wasn’t sure) wrote, “If you subscribe to either MSN or Yahoo as an ISP they provide their own proprietary browser.” “I stand corrected,” says Vmom. “MSN and Yahoo *can* be browsers and are obviously useful to some people as such.” But again, Volcano Mama’s intended audience might get confused by that. They don’t have time for anything more than about one or two mouse clicks. In general, Vmom is not a terrific fan of proprietary software on the web, but that’s just her not-so-humble opinion, inspired in part by what the gang over at WCC has beaten into her rather one-dimensional brain.

Volcano Mama’s intended audience is people who want to use the Internet for very specific purposes. Like emailing their grandchildren or reading someone’s stoopid blahg. They want to get on there, do their business and get off quick. No news sites or flash videos, thank you very much. They do not have time to fiddly-diddle around learning all of the various complexities of using computers and browsers and surfing the Internet. They are too busy going to water-ex and taiko drumming performances and foreign films and classes at the college and visiting their friends at Tendercare and eating corn chowder at Penny’s and reading the newspaper down by the waterfront and cogitating about improvements to their properties. So Vmom is trying to keep it pretty basic.

Anyway, yay for feedback! Keep it coming. One of these days, I’m gonna get off my you-know-what and install WordPress on this here blahg so I can turn on some comments and y’all can comment to your heart’s delight and get into flame wars with each other and the whole works.

And finally, Sam and I were certainly on the same wavelength yesterday as she also mentioned the sound of wind in pine trees in her blahg. Except she didn’t call it a swhooooshing noise, she called it susurration. Her vocabulary wins!

Volcano Mama’s Internet Guide:

• A browser is an application program that allows you to sit at your computer and waste time reading my blahg and other websites. Some familiar browsers are Firefox, Internet Explorer, Safari and Netscape. You can have more than one browser on your computer. I think I have about six.
• So what the heck is an application program, some might wonder. It is a computer program that allows you to use your computer to DO something constructive (or not). Like write a letter or balance your checkbook or listen to music or read my blahg. Some application programs that I use frequently are Microsoft Word and Excel, Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator, Quicken, which keeps track of my money (or lack thereof), and Firefox, my preferred browser program (for looking at web pages, right?). Froggy grok grok uses Garage Band and iTunes to record his ribald little ditties and convert them to mp3 files. When he can get his slimy little paws on my powerbook, that is. grok! A browser is an application program but not every application program is a browser. Also, some application programs deal with the Internet and some have nothing to do with it.
• Okay. What about MSN? Or Yahoo? Are those browsers? Nope. They are simply web sites. Just like ababsurdo. You use a browser to look at MSN and Yahoo and ababsurdo. The difference between Yahoo and ababsurdo is that Yahoo has a reputation for being a “portal” site. That means that it provides links to news and all kinds of interesting and informative facts and stuff (or not) while ababsurdo mainly links to my own rantings and ravings and a few other sites that I visit frequently (or not). There’s no reason you can’t use ababsurdo as a portal. It just doesn’t offer a wide variety of interesting links.

Is that all clear as mud? If not, lemme know and I’ll try to clarify it. Want more? Watch this space for occasional installments in this ongoing series. I don’t know it all but I do know when to call in Michigan Power Rodding. grokgrokgrokGROK!