Pam’s comment yesterday got me thinking about my brother and how I have never really “mourned” him or other close relatives. Except “mourn” is a weird word because everybody does it differently. My way was apparently to continue moving forward.
My brother was 3-1/2 years younger than me. I think there was a miscarriage between us (vague memories of staying at Grandma’s house for a couple days while mom went to the hospital). If that child had lived, I’m guessing we wouldn’t have had Jim. Instead I imagine a bratty younger sister who was more outgoing, pretty, and popular than me.
But then again, that “sister” might not have survived, as my brother almost didn’t because of rh negative incompatibilities that only a complete blood transfusion could mitigate. My uncle doctor and a visiting pediatrician scrambled a musheen that could give a newborn infant a transfusion because there wasn’t such a beast at our small town hospital.
At my early age, I had spent a week at the moominbeach while my mom gave birth. I had a great time! I was with my grandparents and aunts/uncles and cousins. But I have a clear memory of when my parents finally came out to Aunt Katie’s cabin to collect me. I asked, “Where is the baby?” They answered, “We don’t think he is coming home.”
He did come home. He put my nose out of joint big time because I had been a “princess” for 3-1/2 years. He was healthy, as far as we knew. Here he is playing the trombone in the Soo High pep band. Probably a freshman. He was a GOOD jazz ‘bone player who actually played with Woody Herman a few times. But he was also a car aficionado and his paying career was automotive engineer for General Motors. It took meeeee a lot longer to find a lucrative career than it did for him but eventually I managed it.
He, unknowingly to anyone in the era of his birth, brought home the hepatitis C virus. Who knew to test for something like that then. It eventually killed him. It took a long time and he was healthy throughout most of that time.
It’s too long a story for tonight but here I am standing next to the sign for his namesake trail, up on the Lake Superior escarpment behind the moominbeach. The Little Traverse Conservancy owns the property and created the trail, the GG helps with trail maintenance, and I (well, we) donate money. We have become friends with some people who live on the escarpment. I miss the days when my family owned all that land but we are moving onward.
P.S. I sent the pic of my brother to the family chat and my bonus daughter aka my niece and his (beautiful) daughter, sent back a picture of her making that same face.