Just when you thought it was safe to make a cup of coffee on a dreary Monday afternoon…

I thought that my post from yesterday was just about the clumsiest post I have ever written, all that crap about Asperger’s, which I don’t really know anything about. Today started out as a very drab day and I was going to try to clarify some of that. But that will have to wait. Because in the middle of the afternoon, I received a rather alarming text message that the front right burner on my stove had “blown up”. Now. I have had a few experiences with various stove burners “blowing up” and your mileage can vary on that kind of thing. It sounded like things were basically okay at the Landfill. There was nothing about “fire engines are here” or anything. So, with some trepidation, I phoned home. Yiiy! My Mouse was heating water to make a cup of coffee with her French press. She was standing at the sink, which is a couple feet to the right of the right front burner on the stove. The burner started making a buzzing noise and then began shooting sparks. Lots of sparks. Bright sparks. My Mouse snaked her arm over from where she was standing at the sink and managed to turn the burner off. That turned off the whole mess. Fortunately none of this started a fire. So. Was it just that burner or was it the whole blasted stove? She called the GG, aka Mr. Fix-it. He thought burner. She turned on the back left burner (same size as the front right). There was a little waft of smoke. She *thought* it was from food residue on the burner pan. *I* thought it was from food residue on the burner pan. She was spooked. I wasn’t there. I was spooked. Was my stove dead or not? I didn’t know. After I got off the phone, my cube neighbors, who were on tenterhooks hearing me talk about sparks and burners and smoke very tentatively asked, “Okay, we don’t want to be nosy, but…?” I totally cracked up.

My stove was not new when we bought the Landfill and that was 25 years ago. But I have always liked my stove. It’s predictable (until today!) and I get along with it. I think we have replaced burners before but we have never had a big spectacular blowout like this. I am pretty sure that my Mouse was calmer about dealing with it than I would’ve been but I know it was scary. My immediate thought was something like, “oh crap, yesterday I pre-cooked a whole bunch of stuff for this week and now I don’t have a stove and I’ll end up having to throw it all out”. Like CPP (chicken pot pie) for tonight.

And another thought… We are about to remodel our kitchen. I know I keep talking about that and, no, we haven’t made a lot of progress lately. But we will and when we do, we will buy a new stove. As much as I like this one, it is time. And after today, it is really time. I know that during the remodeling process there will be a period of time when I don’t have a stove or much of anything else in the space formerly known as the Landfill Chitchen. I do *not* think I will have a good time with that. I *know* I will argue and fight with the GG about that. We are married, after all. Just saying. What I don’t want to have to deal with is being without a stove from *now* until we manage to get the remodeling prodject (intentionally misspelled) going.

It’s all okay. For now. The back left burner did indeed waft up some smoke because there was food residue on the burner pan below it. It works and so do all of the other burners. Including the oven burner. (Er, knock on wood for all of this.) And we are going to try to get a new burner for the front right from Mastertech. With luck, we’ll make it with this loverly old stove until the Landfill Chitchen gets sledgehammered.

7 Responses to “Just when you thought it was safe to make a cup of coffee on a dreary Monday afternoon…”

  1. Margaret Says:

    That would terrify me!! We’ve had some kitchen accidents involving teenage girls NOT understanding that you don’t put water in hot grease. OMG–that caused some definite excitement, the kind I can live without. Hope your stove can limp along until the Big Remodel!!

  2. gg Says:

    Yawn. We’ve replaced burned out burners before… we can do it again.

  3. Becky Says:

    Last May my stove caught on fire during a birthday party for Lacey w/ 20 kids (no we usually don’t have big blowouts for bdays). Chelsea ran and got the fire exstinguisher and was on it. Unfortunately – that fire foam was all over, what a mess. In the mean time the fire department came because I couldn’t tell if it was the stove or wiring, of course the pizza delivery guy came at the same time. So the kids were eating the pizza on the lawn watching the SHFD for entertainment. Chaos and my house looked like an episode out of I Love Lucy. All is well and I did get a new stove. 🙂

  4. Tonya Says:

    I have a very clear memory of being little (3? 4? No older than 5) of standing in the kitchen with Mom while she was brewing coffee in one of those glass Pyrex coffee pots that you apparently used on the stove (I can even totally picture that coffee pot — you could see all the internal workings). The burner exploded right in front of us, also exploding that glass (hot!) coffee pot. I don’t remember glass bits or hot coffee pouring down over us, but the image of all those sparks shooting sky-high are imprinted in my brain. It also made a horrible roaring noise. I remember my mom shielding me and seeming very calm about the whole thing. As I recall, that burner didn’t get fixed/replaced for quite a while.

    Boy, I’d sure recommend a gas stove when you get your new one, if you have access to natural gas (or propane). I never thought I would like cooking on a gas range, but when I married John 10 years ago and moved into his house, I approached his gas range with some trepidation. I absolutely love it and would never have anything else! (Wouldn’t feel the same way about a gas oven, though — ours is electric and I like it just fine).

  5. Pooh Says:

    When we moved into our house 26 years ago, the prior owner did not have a stove. She had a two burner hot plate and a microwave. I guess it worked for her. When you redo your kitchen, you’ll figure out a way to cook (or not)* for the duration.

    *What’s her favorite recipe? Well, she makes excellent reservations…

  6. grandmothertrucker Says:

    The old stove at HL had issues. If you used a metal spoon in a solid metal pan, you got zapped. Burners are easily replaced. I bet the GG is on it already.

    I have a flat top like the new one at HL. It looks nice, cooks alright, but the pans have to be perfectly flat to match the surface or you can ruin the top. If you arc your pan it shouldn’t be used on the stove top. I miss having fire like Woodsboro house.

    You can get a fire top with an electric oven now. They mak’em.

    I would like gas, cause you can broil nice and all…. but I don’t like the idea of a gas line just burning gas all day long. What a waste of energy.

  7. ababsurdo.com » Blog Archive » Extra drawers and no bearings Says:

    […] with the whole re-do later. The reason for that is that, one looooooverly day last March, I received a text message at work saying that a burner had blown up. Now. My stove and I have a long, happy relationship. It was old […]