Jesus takes his money to the 1st National Bank…

…Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves. It had to be my “cuzzint” Pooh who taught me that song. She is the keeper of weird little songs. She also taught me a song that goes “And there was granny, swingin’ on the outhouse door” and “seven old ladies were locked in a lavatory”. She is also one of the smartest people I have ever known.

The thing is that Grandberry (my grandfather) and his son Grandroobly (my dad) worked at the 1st National Bank when I was a kid. Grandberry was the president and Grandroobly eventually worked his way up from Assistant Teller to President. That’s a whole ‘nother story but I remember visiting the 1st National Bank when I was a little kid. I was treated like a princess. There was a short teller window made just for children like me and I often got to go behind the tellers’ stations to see what went on behind the scenes. I was mostly interested in the office supplies. Rubber bands? Yes. And maybe there were balloons and pieces of candy…

Yesterday, Jesus was struck by lightning along a soul-sucking section of the I75 SUV Speedway down in Oh-haaa-o and he, um, melted, or died or whatever. (Don’t get me wrong, there are beautiful parts of Ohio too.) This whole thing cracked me up like you wouldn’t believe. And it cracked up a whole bunch of systems analysts too when I finally yelled it over the wall this afternoon. Sam (archaeologist, not dog) has the best photo of the butter/touchdown Jesus when he lived. I love the power lines/towers in the background.

Updated to add that Sam sent me a couple of YouTube links: an earlier one and here’s an updated one (haha, I’ve got both videos going at once, so much fun!): burning of big-butter Jesus Man oh man, I just heard something about not making craven (graven?) images. Duh. Say what?

7 Responses to “Jesus takes his money to the 1st National Bank…”

  1. Margaret Says:

    I saw a photo of that and it was CRAZY looking. 🙂

  2. pooh Says:

    Wait, is that the GG on the left hand side of the first link? What’s he doing at the National Infantry Museum?

    I cracked up at the first Heywood Banks video when he puts his arms down for the line, “oleo, O Lord!” and the reference to the State Fair sculptures, especially Stephen Hawkings made out of string cheese.

    So I am the keeper of weird little songs? Probably b/c I can’t carry a tune in the proverbial bucket! Wish I could remember one we learned at Campfire camp. The only line I remember, sort of, is something like “who cares what I look like, it’s the person in front gets the jar.” And possibly the preceding line ended with “…. I are” to rhyme with jar.

    And while we’re on sacriligious songs, don’t forget, “I don’t care if it rains or freezes, long as I got my plastic Jesus, sitting on the dashboard of my car…”

  3. kayak woman Says:

    Haha, that does look a bit like the GG: (scroll down to “sight of the week” on the left sidebar).

    I remember bits and pieces of a lot of those old Campfire camp songs but I don’t remember anything about a jar! I do feel a bit of a blahg entry coming along one of these days. “Oh, I don’t wanna hoooow I wanna leave Wikweia…”

    And LOL about the plastic Jesus song! Totally forgot about that one!

  4. pooh Says:

    “Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz,
    My friends all drive Porsches, you must make amends.
    Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a color TV,
    Dialing for Dollars is trying to reach me.”

    I haven’t really put anything on the Itunes app on my phone, and that may be a good thing, seeing the type of songs that are the flotsam and jetsam in my brain.

  5. jane Says:

    wait – you guys went to camp?!? when did that happen? and what was wrong with just hanging at the cabin all the time. sheesh. it’s the best camp EVER!

  6. kayak woman Says:

    That’s kind of what I always thought about camp, too. (-;

  7. pooh Says:

    I went one year with Anne, don’t know if she went more than once. Maybe we were eight, which would make it your first summer at the cabin, Jane, so maybe we were sent to be out of the units’ hair. Except, I think it was only one week. It was a different experience, that’s for sure.