Fahrenheit 451

The temperature at which book paper (arguably) spontaneously combusts.

Why yes! I have been driving the intrepid little black Ninja for almost two years now and it was only last weekend that I found out that if you want it to REALLY kick the a/c into whooshing out some cold air, there is a button labeled “MAX A/C”. It is located to the left of the “A/C” button and it is a *big* button, as in easier to see? Or not. All this time I have been thinking that the Ninja, good little vee-hickle that it is, has wimpy air-conditioning. At least compared to the Dogha. Which is ridiculous because the Ninja is a pretty fancy little car. We do not buy BMWs or Caddy-lacks or big, fancy SUVs like all the other Yuppies or Floppies or Gloopies or DINKs or whatever it is you call us folks with all the first-world problems. (Well, technically we aren’t DINKs because we *do* have kids.) When it comes to buying automotive vee-hickles, we tend to stick to things like Hondas because they have a really good track record (knock on wood). And, because some people around here insist on keeping automotive vee-hickles until the floorboards are just about rusted through and have to be covered up with a rusty piece of iron with an “Old Grand-Dad” sticker on it, when we DO get around to buying a new one, we splurge and go for the top dollah model of whatever we’re buying. So with the Ninja, I never could figure out why the a/c was so wimpy until last weekend, when I got into it after Lizard Breath had driven it for a couple days. Cold air was whoooooshing out at me and what was this? A big “MAX A/C” button was activated. Who’da thunk it?

The weather on my phone said it was 77 degrees (Fahrenheit) at 5:30 this morning. Fer kee-reist, this is not Hotlanta, don’tcha know. It wasn’t quite that hot over here on the west side but I was pretty sticky at the end of my 0-skunk-30 walk. I forced myself to take a walk at lunch and the heat plus some sort of insect bite on my thigh (under my skirt!) almost killed me. The plan was to walk downtown and meet the GG at the Old Town bar for dinner. During art fair week. I don’t normally go *near* downtown during art fair week. I am too much of a townie at this stage of my life and I hate crowds to boot. Baby-stepping along behind gabbling, gew-gawing 50-something women (er, like me?) is not my strong suit. I made it downtown but I didn’t end up walking all the way because just after I left home, the sky turned rather black and thunder started to rolling almost continually. I had an umbrella with me and I will walk in rain but I will not walk within about a billion miles of lightning. I do not want to die of random electrocution. I am sorry. Lightning is too unpredictable. I turned around for home, grabbed a car and ended up parking about a half mile from downtown and we got the usual fare at the Old Town and then kind of slogged through the art fair. It was mostly shut down by then from the intermittently heavy rain and, you now, lightning. I am tired. It is a bit cooler now and we have turned off the a/c in the Landfill so we can listen to the rain and thunder and that’s what I’m going to do for the rest of the night, falling asleep whenever I happen to fall asleep and that could well be about five minutes from now.

Gabbledy gabbledy kerfloop,

2 Responses to “Fahrenheit 451”

  1. Margaret Says:

    I barely know how to run my own A/C–we don’t use it much here in WA. 🙂 Our weather is improving(to mid-i80s) while yours is getting worse. I too will walk/run in nearly any kind of weather, but NOT lightning and certainly not heavy wind with our enormous trees. Safety is paramount!!

  2. Marquis Says:

    It got up to 77 here in NW WY, but it was a dry heat. Our low was in the mid-50s.