That glare [wink]

I think this was it, right? We had just walked “the woods” back from cocktails and dinner at Radical Betty’s, a couple “doors” down. Walking “the woods” between cabins at the moominbeach means you *are* walking in the woods. There are old two-track roads but they are somewhat overgrown and it is DARK at night there, unless the moon is full and there are no clouds. So The Comm had struggled a bit walking home that night and, while I don’t think she exactly fell, it was a bit dicey getting her home (not to mention ourselves). When we got home, I suggested she needed a headlamp! This photo shows how well *that* went over.

Yes, my mother had one heckuva sense of humor although she could also be a bit judgmental, just a bit. Her older sister (who is still alive at something like 98) once told me that “they” called The Commander “Lemon Tongue” as a child. That’s a story for another day but I think I know why, because man oh man, she could say some “interesting” things about other people… I have to say that her third career teaching high school classes to at-risk students up in the Yooperland tempered that quite a bit.

As to why I say I don’t miss her? I have extremely complicated thoughts about that whole thing but on balance, I don’t. Yet. The reason is that I spent the last 10 months of her life in a situation that neither of us ever wanted. She was incapable of living independently and defiant about wanting to (you go girl!). But she needed a caregiver (or me). Except, she didn’t want a caregiver and (fer kee-reist) didn’t want it to be me. And that was a good thing because I am not a good caregiver, at least I would have trouble changing my life to become one for my mother. We were lucky that she could AFFORD to pay for a high quality assisted living facility. Not everyone can. I won’t go into the politics surrounding that tonight. She still wasn’t happy living in her beautiful apartment at FV. She still wanted to be home. At the end of it all, I felt relief and still do… Sigh…

The Commander really never lost her sense of humor. A year or so ago, I was walking from Command Central (her now-empty house) down to War Memorial Hospital every morning at 0-skunk-30. One morning I got down there and she was (I thought) sound asleep. I thought, “Whew!” I turned my back to her to take off my winter clothes, etc., and I was trying to be as quiet as a mouse. Suddenly! “ANNE!” I jumped about a mile. She needed water. I gave her water. She was very sick at that point but I can’t help thinking she got a kick out of making me jump like that.

Life is tough and then you die. Wishing all y’all many happy healthy years before that time comes.

Love y’all,

P. S. The Comm would’ve adored my new stove! When I got that stove, I wanted to call her. Or text her a photo (yes, really, she texted). It was the first time I had that feeling.

2 Responses to “That glare [wink]”

  1. UU Says:

    I miss your Mom. Will never forget our dinner on her 90th birthday. -UU

  2. Margaret Says:

    There’s the photo I admired! Perfect teacher look. 🙂 I think missing someone is different when they’ve lived out their life and are ready to go. In my case it was 50/50. He was ready to go, but still WAY too young.