Grok grok grok. I’magonna take over this stoopid ol’ blahg today. Grok grok.

Boyami glad t’ get back t’ th’ Planet today. I’ve been stuck in th’ ol’ green Honda w’ pore ol’ Softy Beanbag all afternoon. Aunt Mouse hadta go backta Kalamamalakazoo (grok, I always get lost spellin’ that) today ‘n’ th’ ol’ bag threw me in th’ car too. ‘n’ I didn’ think we’d ever get th’ ol’ growler outta there. He was rummagin’ aroun’ Aunt Mouse’s room, tryin’ t’ put her stuff away fer her ‘n’ pickin’ th’ lock on th’ bathroom door ‘n’ then he was sniffin’ aroun’ down th’ hall t’ see if there was any whiskey aroun’ there that he could cadge.

‘n’ Aunt Mouse is roomin’ w’ Lairi th’ Rake this year, so Lairi’s parents were there too ‘n’ that meant that th’ ol’ witch ‘n’ Lairi’s moom hadta do all kinds o’ gossipin’ ‘n’ chit chat. Grok grok grok grok GROK! ‘n’ THEN, Aunt Mouse ‘n’ th’ ol’ bag wen’ over t’ Liz K’s apartmen’ ‘n’ got th’ yarn hamper ‘n’, o’ all things, *Liz K’s* moom was there, so there was a whole bunch MORE gossipin’ ‘n’ chit chat ‘n’ stuff. ‘n’ sumthin’ abou’ poison frogs, o’ all things! Grok-YEEK!

At least we got that beeyootiful green dresser outta Liz K’s apartmen’ along w’ th’ yarn hamper. Canya believe it? Th’ ol’ witch tried t’ akshully foist that loverly piece o’ furnitcher off on Karen! Karen didn’ want anything t’ do w’ it. She said she wouldn’ keep it unless we painted it purple! Canya believe it? Er, akshully, purple is jus’ abou’ as good a color as green. I have a li’l bit o’ it abou’ th’ eyes myself!

Fin’ly, we were in Aunt Mouse’s room ‘n’ a bunch o’ those silly li’l blonde twits like th’ ol’ bag useta be (hee hee hee) started squealin’ at each other down th’ hall. “Susie!!” “Peggy!!” “I missedya so much!” “Ooh, talk a li’l slower!” “Squeak!” “Squeal!” Sheesh, it hurt my pore li’l ol’ frog ears. Th’ ol’ bag growled, “Le’s get outta here!” ‘n’ dragged the ol’ grumper down th’ stairs ‘n’ inta th’ crummy ol’ green honda ‘n’ we were home in pretty short order, w’ a stop at th’ liqwire store on th’ way. Grokgrok grokGROK!

Uh. Hey Froog. Yes, I’m taking this blasted blahg back. Whatcha got cookin’ anyway? You are usually plotting and planning like crazy to stow away and go *live* in Kalamazoo or Berkeley or Spain or Green Guy’s house or wherever. You’d have a hayday hip-hop-sproinging in and out of drywall buckets at Green Guy’s so maybe I’ll will you to him. But I digress. Why the heck all of a sudden is there all this interest in being on the planet here? I wish I could say that I don’t want to know what it is but I have a sneaking suspicion that I DO need to know… 😐

One Response to “Kalamamalakazoo”

  1. Sam Says:

    I love encountering stray Froogy-audio clips….