A perfect trifecta of brain-twisting questions and 1:13 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back

redtruckFirst, I’m reasonably certain that I haven’t used the word “trifecta” correctly (can anyone think of a better word for things that come in threes?). But geesh! 1) Effective dating, 2) prenoting, and 3) specified time, one after another, each one an extremely complicated little piece of functionality that a roomful of SMEs spent uncountable hours untangling during the design process. But I live in the future. I wrote the spec months ago. It takes a while for a spec to trickle down through dev and QA, therefore, by the time they come up with questions, I am a prodject or two ahead and have to dredge up the spec and peer at our hi-fidelity prototype and test out the actual application. And think… Where did I write about that? Why did I write that? What did I mean? Why didn’t I include this or that example? Or another picture or table or whatever…

I waded my way through all of that and constructed replies with carefully chosen words that everyone including those whose first language is not the same as mine could understand (i.e., I did not use the word “trifecta”) and humble statements apologizing in case my reply might increase the confusion level and inviting folks to tell me if I have misunderstood the question. So far so good. That said, I may be afraid to open my email tomorrow morning… My brain was fried at the end of the day but that’s a good thing.

(If you don’t understand any of the above, that’s a GOOD thing. You’re welcome.)

And then… The video promised to instruct me on how to remove the tough stems from kale and other “trendy” leafy greens. It was a minute and 13 seconds long and front-loaded with a 13 second ad for something I was totally uninterested in. Why on earth did I bother to click on that link? Curiosity, I guess. Has someone figured out an ingenious way to remove kale leaves from stems? Uh, not. She used a big fat knife to cut along the edges of the stem. Why bother with a knife? I just tear the leaves off with my bare hands. Nobody taught me how to do this. I just figgered it out. Is that not a “correct” way to accomplish this task? Why do I need a damn knife? Heck, when I was a kid in the Yooperland, I think iceberg lettuce was our only salad option, at least at the grokkery store. Kale? Huh?

Alas, I know that this video was produced because there are folks out there who cannot figure out how to boil water, let alone strip kale leaves from their stems. But why are we showing those folks how to do it with a BIG KNIFE? That just seems like an accident waiting to happen.

Oh man, the good, the bad, and the hilariously crazy. Last summer, I gave GrandmotherTrucker (she doesn’t use that moniker any more but it was a good one) an audio file of Grandpa Garth (her dad, my F-I-L) saying, “It’s daylight in the swamp!” We were on the Flote Bote, so it was handed over via dropbox on our phones. Suddenly (long after the fact), every time she gets a facebook notification on her phone, she hears Grandpa Garth saying, “It’s daylight in the swamp!” How? I dunno… Good times!

One Response to “A perfect trifecta of brain-twisting questions and 1:13 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back”

  1. Margaret Says:

    Love that FB notification! I didn’t understand much of the first part of your post and hate kale. (except in soup where it’s OK)