I’ve already found jeebus, so just leave me alone.

lichenThis solicitor didn’t even come to the house. He was waiting for me at the Shell station. I needed a dry bag so I swung by REI just before the lunch hour and got gasoline on the way.

“Hello! How are you today? Are you on your way to work?” [What is your name, rank, and serial number?]

Uuhhhh… I was fumbling with the pump to get the right gasoline selection. I have to *concentrate* on stuff like that and he was distracting me.

“This is Shell customer appreciation day. Can I wash your windshield?”

Uuuhhh… Okaaaayyy. I was still struggling with the pump but I forced myself to brighten up just a weeeee little bit and chirped, “It probably needs it.”

He went through some perfunctory swishing and swiping motions for 30 seconds or so. I *finally* got the correct grade of gasoline selected and flowing into my tank. And then… Dun dun dun.

“You have a crack in your windshield.”

Oh, really? He pointed it out and I had to squint to see the teensy tinesy wee little pit in the Ninja’s windshield. And then he launched into a long spiel about some program for fixing cracked windshields. Or replacing them. Or something.

My eyes glazed over. I stammered something lame like, “My husband takes care of this stuff.”

“Oh, well, that’s fine. You guys can come by any time to [take advantage of this wonderful program].”

Hee. “My husband takes care of this stuff” is true but, if that yay-hoo could see what the Frog Hopper’s windshield looks like at this moment, he would know that the GG is not likely to take advantage of his speshul offer any time in the near future. Actually, the GG’s modus operandi regarding windshield cracks is something like, “As soon as I fix the windshield, it gets hit by a rock.” Alas, all too true. The Indefatigable was particularly susceptible to this rule and I can remember him going out to talk to the driver’s license test people about the condition of that windshield before one of the beach urchins was scheduled to take her test. Did he really need to fix it? Because…

Will I go back to that particular station? Oh I probably will but the possibility of being assaulted by an intrusive person giving me the hard-sell on a repair that I don’t need will definitely make me think twice.

5 Responses to “I’ve already found jeebus, so just leave me alone.”

  1. Uncly Uncle Says:

    Why would anyone trust someone who lies to you so they can open a sales pitch. Did he even work for the gas station?

  2. jane Says:

    I am in my own world at the gas station. one time I pulled into that great station where Huron splits into Dexter/Jackson and was having an ‘NPR driveway moment’ while finding my wallet. I turned around to get out and one of the guys was right there asking me to pop the tank so he could fill it up for me. So he did, and I just sat there not having a clue what to do and wondering if I should tip him. This was only a few years ago. But they are SUPER nice at that station, and I know lots of older folks go there so they don’t need to pump it themselves. Since I didn’t immediately get out, I’m sure he assumed I was one of them.
    One xmas eve I pulled in there with a flat tire and they fixed it (the extreme cold had reduced the air level so when I turned a corner I effectively ‘drove out’ of the rim) immediately and wouldn’t even let me pay them anything! AND I used their phone to call work to say I would be late to a mtg. So what I’m trying to get across is that I love that station and the guys that work there are hard-working, polite and super nice.

  3. Pooh Says:

    The Prius had a windshield ding, which was fixed on Tuesday. The woman owner/repair technician was very nice, and just started fixing the windshield without even coming to the door. She’d have fixed it and been gone without me knowing except Mark texted me. I was upstairs sewing, and looked out the window and there she was. I thought she was coming at three, and the plumber between ten and noon, but she was there at 12:30 and the plumber didn’t come until almost three.

  4. TMOTU Says:

    Jane… I really like that great station where Huron splits into Dexter/Jackson.

  5. Margaret Says:

    Never trust someone who does a crappy job cleaning your windshield! What kind of job would they do fixing it?? LOL I’ve had to replace a few windshields due to cracks that spread. Getting them filled before they fan out is better, believe me. We get stopped by the cops here if we have cracked windshields, since it can impair the view of the road.