No boyz in the house!

uhhhhThis weekend that is. But gee, does that mean I can’t invite that cute little old geezer who was shopping @PlumMarket today over? He was slowly shuffling along with his shopping cart, tappety-tapping on his phone. It was not a smart phone but it was love at first sight. For me anyway. I don’t think he even *saw* me [grin]. I remember when The Commander (who had an iPhone but didn’t use it at the grokkery store) got to a certain age, she started to become oblivious to who / what was around her and would do things at the grokkery store like lift her cane cudgel high above her head to point at something. “What is that?” Or come to a dead stop in the middle of the aisle, completely blocking traffic. Yikes!

Anyway, I often wish there were more boyz around The Landfill but I had daughters*. A boy (or two or three) might’ve provided a different kind of energy around here. Like, I bet a boy (or two or three) would have eaten me out of house and home. It was hard enough to feed the beach urchins and their picky tastes**. A boy (or two or three) may have given me a run for my money in some other ways. Like I can count on one hand the number of times my [female] beach urchins ever got into anything remotely resembling “trouble”. They have turned out to be extremely responsible strong female adults. If I had had a boy (or two or three), would I have somebody living in my basement right now? Playing Halo, smoking pot, and eating me out of house and home?***

ALERT! WE INTERRUPT THIS BLAHG FOR A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT! Kayak Woman is having a fricking Sneezing Fit. She gets these things Once in a Blue Moon. It takes her about five minutes to make it go away and then it’s gone until the next Blue Moon. Well, it is the New Moon right now, but you get the point, roight? And no, she does NOT have allergies.

BACK TO YOUR NORMAL PROGRAMMING: No boyz in the house this weekend. Unless you count Froggy and Green Guy. And is Froggy a boy? We seem to use male pronouns to refer to him but I’m not really sure what the heck he identifies as. Actually, I’m not even sure those “guys” are in the house this weekend. I wonder if they hitched a ride up to the Great White North in the Frog Hopper…


*I think my girlz (sorry about the “z” Mouse [wink]) know that I was ecstatic each time I heard the words, “It’s a girl!”. And I *was*. I wasn’t surprised. I actually “knew” that both of my children were girls before they were born and it was not because of ultrasound pictures but that would be a whole ‘nother story.

**Those picky eaters (fluorescent orange box mac-n-cheese, ramen noodles, etc.) have much more interesting, healthy diets as adults than I currently do.

***I know this is a biased statement. It’s intended to be comedy. Given that my kids were raised by the FinFam and CFam “villages”, I can only guess that if I had birthed one (or two or three) boyz, they would turn into something like the wonderful male children both of those families produced. I just suspect it may have been a bumpier ride. Not that female children don’t ever provide bumps in the road but mine didn’t.

Finally, I don’t regret not having more than two children. For a while I thought about having a third. I don’t think I would ever have gone for a fourth. What the heck, if we’d had even three children, we may have felt the need to buy a New House. Sigh. I like The Landfill and I am glad that we were able to raise our children here.

One Response to “No boyz in the house!”

  1. Margaret Says:

    I grew up with three brothers, so I always saw myself with a son and didn’t handle girl drama very well, but otherwise, I’m delighted to have daughters. They are two of my best friends! My only surviving brother, who is nearly 15 years younger, is like the son I never had. 🙂