Are the vampires really sparkly (or is it twinkly?) these days?

My long-suffering, cat-herding boss keeps talking about how vampires sparkle and I keep telling him that they sure didn’t do that when I was a kid. When I was a kid, they hung out around the outhouse on Fin Family Moominbeach. Sparkle? No way. They peered out of the trees with their fangs showing and blood dripping down their chins. Werewolves howled in the distance and some kind of entity that I used to call “The Spitfire” lurked by our homemade climbing bars waiting to reach out and snag me with its fiery jaws. I never told anyone about that little demon. It was only in my own mind.

Yes. I was afraid to go to the outhouse at night. Heck, if there was a luna moth on the path or some sort of scrabbly little moth inside the outhouse, I was scared to go out there in the daytime. And then, during the last couple years of the outhouse’s life, it sort of rocked back and forth when you walked into it and, if you weren’t careful, your pee might sort of dribble out under the toilet seat and onto the floor instead of going, well you know, where it was supposed to go.

We have indoor plumbing up there now. It is not fancy but it works and we can be clean. And I am about a half-step below OCD about being clean. Shower? Yes. Every blasted single day. And I wash my face and feet every evening before dinner. Why? Well. When I was a little kid and my parents first built our little cabin, I can remember that every night, I sat in the kid chair in the back of the kitchen with my feet in a little dishpan. Cleaning the sand off. If it was a bad day, I would have a sliver and I would be hoisted up into the sink so that The Commander could dredge my sliver out. With a sterilized needle. Yes.

When I got to be a teenager, I would come home to the cabin every night and wash my face and my feet. My parents were always worried about me and when I would come home yada yada. Sigh. Until I had boyfriends and stuff, I was just hanging out on the beach and I was safe. I know. I know. I worried about my kids at that age too, even though I really didn’t need to. Anyway, I would get home and turn on the teakettle to heat some water. I would put one of the Commander’s little plastic basins into the sink, put warm water into it, and wash my face. And then I would stand in front of the sink and hoist one of my feet and then the other into the sink and wash the sand and whatever off of my feet.

I still wash my feet every evening. I dunno exactly why. It just feels good. This is Michigan. It is the Great Lake State. It is a god-forsaken state in many ways. But there is water. Beautiful, fresh water. Not the worst place to live. If you have a job…

2 Responses to “Are the vampires really sparkly (or is it twinkly?) these days?”

  1. Margaret Says:

    Feet need lots of washing–they get stinky! I should wash mine in the evening too. We have lots of water in WA too.

  2. Dona Says:

    I wash my hands about 19,473,957 times a day, but don’t always remember to wash my face at night.

    And vampires do not sparkle.