Paradigm shift

There is no food in the house. Well, that’s not exactly true. Just nothing dinner-worthy. Canned goods and ramen noodles and Cheerios and stuff. Frozen lasagna. The homemade kind. But I’m sort of lasagna-ed out for the moment. The cupboard is so bare, I had to stop at the Plum Market on the way to work this morning to grab some salad for lunch. I planned for this old mother hubbard cupboard stuff. I’m heading north at 0-skunk-30 tomorrow morning and I didn’t want to leave a whole bunch of food around. I know I’ll be bringing home leftovers and stuff we buy that The Commander doesn’t want to be saddled with. Honestly, if we were going to stay at The Commander’s house in town, it would be easier to go out to eat. But we’re not. We’re going to bunk at Fin Family Moominbeach and I would much rather be barbecuing on the deck, drinking a ‘hattan and watching for bears and stuff. I know I will be bringing leftovers home. And so summer will begin.

So, there’s no food here and that’s good. But the problem became what to eat for dinner? I am used to eating alone and foraging around for leftovers or walking over to the Plum Market for takeouts or one little piece of salmon or whatever. I’ve been doing it off and on for all the years the beach urchins have been off at college and then life, whenever the GG has been out of town. I enjoy having some alone time. It’s a kind of flip side to all the years when you are so wrapped up in taking care of babies and small children that by the end of the day, you feel as though if you are touched one more time, you will explode or something. And then when you finally do get a few moments to yourself in the dead of night, you start to drift off to sleep and somebody is sick or something. But time does go by and before you know it, you are the moom of grown-ups and you have time to contemplate life, the universe, and everything. If you are lucky, you can maybe even do something for yourself, like go back to school and study something that you *love* that might even lead to a job that you don’t think you want and then end up loving, yada yada yada. There may even be some days when you have more time to think about yourself than might be a good thing. Today was one of those days. I was home alone all weekend and I loved it. I usually do. But at some point during the weekend, I had a kind of deja-vu moment. I was looking out the front door. I had my urban hiking/work clothes on and my bushy blonde gray hair was pulled back into a messy pony-tail. I felt like I had been there before except that it was my future. An old lady living alone, her children and grandchildren living far away, watching all the young folks go by with their dogs and babies and things. I don’t really know what the future will bring but I suspect there are many vigorously active years ahead of me. I shook it off.

Today? I could’ve come home and foraged for dinner. I could’ve spent the evening alone. I’d’ve been fine. Instead, what the heck, Mouse lives downtown. I texted her to ask if she was working tonight and, since she wasn’t, I took her out to dinner at Seva. I drove the couple miles to her house and we walked from there. It was just the ticket. *Now* I am home, packing and blahgging and rattling around. Happy to be alone but not a bit lonely.

Good night –KW

P.S. Those fleurs are in front of Mouse’s house. I dunno what they are.

5 Responses to “Paradigm shift”

  1. Sam Says:


  2. Margaret Says:

    I like the “fleurs” but no idea what they are. I need to talk to my kids fairly often or I go a little crazy. Otherwise, I’m OK puttering around, reading, blogging, Facebooking, gardening. I love going up to Seattle to treat Ashley to lunch or take a walk. It’ll be lots harder when she’s in NYC. 🙁

  3. jane Says:

    I walked by Seva last night around 6:30! I was on my way to Borders to hear Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings. They were a rockin’ good time!! It was a lovely night to be out and about.

    enjoy your time up north!!!

  4. Pooh Says:

    I second Sam’s opinion that those are columbines.

  5. MOM Says:

    Yes they are columbines.