I hate dashboard lights aka I *know* when brakes are bad.

And when they are not! It is the BRAKE LAMP light. NOT the BRAKE light. I am pretty good at knowing when brakes are bad just by how the vee-hickle responds when you apply the brake pedal. There was that time I was driving one of the Fiestas, also known as “Mama’s Little Gold Car, Daddy’s Little Blue Car, and The Orange Car.” Or was it the Jetta? It was something with a manual transmission, I know that. How do I know that? Because the brakes were making an absolutely horrible noise and the only way I made it home that day was by using the transmission to brake the vee-hickle. If that makes sense. And then there was the time I had the old red minivan *full* of girl scouts. In fact, don’t tell anybody but I don’t even think I had enough seat belts for each kid. It was starting to snow and the brakes were making an awful noise and it was not because they were wet. I couldn’t slow that car down with the transmission but I did make it home. The Resident Engineer’s opinion was, “they’re just wet.” That is, until the Resident Engineer took a little test drive. Next thing I knew, the van was in the shop. Whomp! But this is what the green honda’s dashboard looks like today. The brake lamp light is that rectangular one at the bottom of the little vee-hickle diagram on the lower right. I’m not going to mess around getting a clear picture. You’ll have to trust me that it says, “brake lamp.” I drove the green honda all over town this morning and I think the brakes are fine. Next to the dashboard is what the booooook says ’cause I actually looooooked in the booooook:


I don’t know which of the three brake lights is out because I’m not quite stretchy enough to keep my foot on the brake pedal while snaking my body outside and around to the back of the vee-hickle to look at the lights. The other red lights on the dashboard? Oh, don’t worry about those. They indicate that the vee-hickle is currently in park and that I’m not wearing a seatbelt. Which is okay because I’m sitting in my driveway not going anywhere. Finally, you can rest assured that this vee-hickle has never been droven anywhere near 140mph. I don’t think. Who knows what the beach urchins may have gotten up to. But in all truth, I doubt that this vee-hickle goes *quite* that fast. I think that’s just for show.

And now, I get to go get my ski jacket on again and walk over to Ann Arbor Muffler. Again. I better not forget my debit card because for the second time in two weeks, I get to pay Ivory somewhere around $500 $745.86 for the privilege of driving The Indefatigable from Ann Arbor Muffler home to its parking place on the street in front of The Landfill. I just *love* rusty old vee-hickles. Don’t you? 🙄

6 Responses to “I hate dashboard lights aka I *know* when brakes are bad.”

  1. Webmomster Says:

    How to check the taillights:

    1) find a storefront with glass or reflective surface going nearly to the ground

    2) make sure said storefront has parking in front of said reflective surface

    3) *Back* into space so that taillights (both) show up in reflective surface

    4) Look in rearview mirror and:

    a) turn on blinkers (and/or 4-ways), then
    b) step on brakes
    c) turn on / off taillights via headlight switch (and it might be a good idea to turn the car around in the space and test the headlights and front blinkers, too ) 🙂

    Taillight check complete

  2. Webmomster Says:

    yeah…. I was channelling The Engineer there for a minute or two….


  3. kayak woman Says:

    Cracking up. *If* I could find an appropriate place to do that (and I can’t, offhand), I’d probably manage to back into the window! 🙂 That gave me a real good laugh. As are the hoops the GG is currently jumping through to identify not only the offending taillight (left) but the *exact* bulb. He has all the tools…

  4. gg Says:

    I replace said burned out brake light bulb.

  5. Webmomster Says:

    So The Indefatigable is now costing over $500 per visit, and there have been 2 of these in a matter of a couple weeks? Coming out to over $1,200????? *red flag snaps to attention* Sounds like it’s time to euthanize the beast, sorry to say. Y’all are *past* the “nickel-and-dime” stage there. That moolah would have gone very nicely into a down payment on a *new* Jeep….

  6. Valdemort Says:

    Light checks like that would be made even better by any nearby cashiers standing behind said reflective surface with the glorious, timeless expression of, “WTF?!?!” on their faces as you systematically flash lights on and off. : )