I wonder if the carpet layers will be able to move the puano on their own because I sure don’t wanna be bothered with it.

landfill1.jpgYes, that shower head got me on a roll. One of my little missions for today involved the vacuum cleaner and what we call the “back room,” although most people who own old ranch houses (or whatever this is) with Aaaa-ditions on the back would probably call it the “family room.” I was just vacuuming up the big chunks and not moving large pieces of furniture around, although I do need to do that one of these days. Anyway. I’m sorry, I just can’t stand it any more. There’s that footprint (you can’t see it in the picture) that I *swear* happened the day we moved the puano over from Royal Joke. I don’t know (or care, kee-reist!) whodunnit. But somebody tracked something in that permanently imprinted a footprint shape into my already old and crappy chocolate poop brown carpet. I do not know what was on their foot. That was, lemme see, I think it was the winter of 1985. I’d blahg more about it but there were a few youthful-type side stories that fall into the category of things-I-won’t-blahg-about. But, yaknow, vacuuming just seems futile any more. There are all those little burned spots back by the fireplace where sparks came popping out onto the carpet and melted it. You can’t see those in the pic either (and there are some on the couches too, sigh). And then there are the carpet tacks that stick up at the edges of the carpet by the sliding doors and in front of the hearth. Yes, we had little kids here with those things. Bad parents with kids smart enough, even as toddlers, to avoid things like that. I usually ignore all that stuff. I’ve been ignoring it for at least 20 years. But I dunno. When I went back there to vacuum up the big chunks today, the light was just at the right level that I could see how horribly awful the rest of the carpet shabby piece of synthetic whatever that more or less covers the floor looked.

Okay. I have had enough. This is like the shower head. Or like the time that I decided I had been living with a crack in the seat of the Blue Toilet for long enough. I may *be* a Trailer Trash Mom but I am sick of *living* like a Trailer Trash Mom*! Why don’t we forgo packages under the tree this xmas** and give each other some brand new back room carpeting? Okay? The Dexter Floor Store has the measurements for the room. C’mon, it’ll be fun!!!!***

*Paula, where are you when I need you? Grrrrroooooaaaaaarrrr!!!
**Don’t worry, little lizard, you will have packages to open.
***We’ll talk about the kitchen floor — and kitchen — later

8 Responses to “I wonder if the carpet layers will be able to move the puano on their own because I sure don’t wanna be bothered with it.”

  1. isa Says:

    smart i may have been, but be that as it may, i still remember having run-ins with those carpet tacks… get something in the same color family? that room feels (visually) nice and warm with that carpet…

  2. kayak woman Says:

    I do agree about the color. I think whoever picked out that color did a good job. It just looks like, well, you know what, now because it’s as old as dirt!

  3. kathy Farnell Says:

    Hey! That is not poop brown. It is called “spill on it brown”. Why? Beacuse we had “spill on it brown” carpet in our home on Valleyview for many (probably 20) years. It took the wear and tear of 5 kids and many, many of their nearest and dearest friends (and pets). You could spill almost anything on it and you only had to get it cleaned when it smelled bad. Great choice. Kathy

  4. GG Says:

    The footprint was on the carpet BEFORE we moved into the house.

  5. Mark Says:

    One of my darling descendents, (I neither know, nor care, which one), found something that will show up on “spill on it brown” carpet. Fluorescent green paint! But if you move the furniture around, and your mom is pretty lax on making you clean your room, or checking the job you said you did, you can hide this stain for years. And they did. Luckily, the said carpet is upstairs, not in the most used room in the house. A new carpet for Xmas sounds like a good present for you and the house. BTW, what does TMOTU stand for? Youth wants to know. (The older I get, the more I like that phrase, LOL.)

  6. Pooh Says:

    Actually, the last comment was by me, not Mark. –Pooh

  7. kayak woman Says:

    I knew who made the comment! 🙂

    TMOTU = The Master Of The Universe, not that there is one in residence here.

    We are in the process of getting carpet. And kitchen flooring. It probably won’t happen until after the first of the year and we have some logistical issues to deal with, like where to put the puano for the duration and how to get it there. We are going with the plan of getting the same color carpet as we have now and putting some sort of wood laminate (is that what it’s called?) in the kitchen. As we were discussing the difficulty and expense of puttiung the wood on the landing and the stairs to the basement (which have the same flooring as in the kitchen), I had a BRAINSTORM! Why don’t we CARPET the landing and down the stairs? Hmmm? And so, I think we will. Much easier and less expensive. Probably won’t get done before xmas but the wheels are in motion.

  8. Pooh Says:

    My folks redid the sewing room/yoga room/guest bedroom with bamboo flooring. You could check it out, if you haven’t already. I think the bamboo is supposed to be more sustainable than wood. Don’t know anything about the cost comparisons, but you probably already have checked it out.