Too Old for Myspace?

I guess now that I have a friend, it’s time to come out of the closet and confess that I have a myspace account. I am moominmamakayakwoman or “Moom” for short. I did not join up with myspace for any of the typical reasons which I guess revolve around making friends and finding dates. And looking sexy, if you are interested in the latter, which I am not.

My blahg gets me into some weird stuff sometimes and one evening I randomly happened to take a look at my referral logs. There were a couple of myspace urls so I went out there and took a look. dum de dum de dum grok grok Who is checking out my site, I wondered? Well, people who were stealing my images, that’s who. Particularly this one:


The Twinz of Terror and I bought this sign about a gazillion years ago on one of those fun Houghton Lake shopping trips where you stop at every single hardware store all the way around the lake. And a few boat shops for good measure. They put it up in the back window of the moldy old cabin. Grandpa Garth was there at the time and after some silent scrutinization, he apparently approved of it because it was still there when we were about to bulldoze the place and we salvaged it.

I didn’t really care if people were stealing my disaster area sign, but I was curious about why they wanted it. I get curious a lot. So I decided to ask. But myspace wouldn’t let me send a message to any of its users because I didn’t have an account. So, I made one. I didn’t get much response from any of the image stealers. I am going to guess they thought I was crazy. So my account just sat out there rather blankly for a while.

It attracted exactly two invitations from potential friends, “Merry” and “Camila.” Those did not sound like very likely names to me. Their profile pictures showed old bags like me but the focus of their spaces seemed to be “meeting people over 50,” i.e., for dating. I was NOT interested. I denied them.

Well, now I actually have a friend. A real one that I also know in real life. She’s also known as Goose’s Mom and I feed her cats sometimes. In honor of that development, I actually wrote a more or less “real” profile for myself. “Swinger” was one of the options available for relationship status and I have to admit I toyed with the idea of checking that off just for the hell of it. But I decided it would conflict too much with the statement that I am not looking for dates and might even get me into some kind of weird trouble, so I went for the boring old “married” instead.

I don’t really know what I’m going to do with my myspace. If you have an account and want to friend an old bag, go for it. Or you could make an account and friend an old bag. Or neither of the above.

Sincerely yours,


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