Okay, enough kvetchin’! Don’t be fooled, my life was really not that bad this week. So, how ’bout a grokkery store list? Since I spend so much time haunting grokkery stores. gro kgrokgork grok! First, though, a little message from the sponsor of the month (not the DOGHA, it’s just there to provide a reference):

Now for the list. In *very* rough chronological order, actually, it’s pretty hard to do it chronologically with my shopping habits. A flowchart might work better. Hmmm… Anyway, here are a few of the grokkery stores I’ve been attached to in my life:

• The A&P: my first grocery store. I liked going there with my grandma the best because she would cheerfully buy me whatever I wanted. Actually, The Comm probably did too albeit not as cheerfully. Just to keep things interesting, we sometimes varied the routine and went to the Red Owl or the Piggly Wiggly.
• Aunt Marion’s: the neighborhood store where Laurie and I went to buy candy and popsicles and stuff. Her family owned it and, while there was a really sweet elderly aunt that worked there a lot, occasionally we’d have to put up with her crotchety old uncle Angie, who hated kids. And probably everybody for all I know. That wasn’t usually where we (i.e., my family) bought our *groceries* except for one winter when it snowed endlessly and the city didn’t plow the alleys and we couldn’t get any vee-hickles out for weeks and The Comm hauled a sled over there a couple of times. One of those old wooden sleds with the metal runners. Bet those are illegal these days.
• The J&K Market (Aunt Jane’s, What a Pickle): candy and meat up on Six Mile in the summer (I’m talking about Six Mile in Da Yoop, not Daytwa). There was also that ratty old store over in Brimley, Neville’s or whatever. Booze runs, primarily, I’ll wager. There’s a res-owned British Petroleum thing there now.
• Yeah. Not Neville’s. Not in Brimley anyway. Because Neville’s was (is?) on Ashmun hill and I should remember that because it’s where The Commander once sent me to buy some Jim Crow. Just try to buy Jim Crow. It’s a kind of bourbon, you know. Or not.
• The Westgate Kroger! Yay! I probably have the longest relationship with the Westgate Kroger. What can I say? I’ve shopped there through a store move, a strike (or two?), and I forget how many remodelings. Actually, I didn’t shop there during the strike unless it was an emergency, like if we were totally out of diapers at midnight or something. It was the first to get Uscans and there are cashiers that have been working there the whole time I’ve been shopping there. Getting close to 30 years! And it can be just about the best theatre in town.
• Meijer Shifty Takers Cubed: Count ’em! Way back when, I would actually schlep all the way over to Carpenter Road from North Seventh Street if I wanted to make a Meijer run. Then the Saline Road Meijer opened up. And finally we got one over here on Jackson Road.
• Glen’s: northern superstore. Sault Ste. Siberia, Houghton Lake, Gaylord, Grayling. I’ve shopped ’em all. I once lost Grandroobly in the Siberia Glen’s during a POC repair/booze run. And the old coot would NOT have anything to do with the credit card swiper. Kee-reist. Went and stood over by the door. “Didn’t your mother give you any money?” Um, I haven’t asked my mommy for money in years. But that little expotition is a whole nother story for a whole nother day. Love you, Old Coot. You guys have fun wherever it is you are!
• Super Valu: what my old A&P is now named. Good for a quick zip down the escarpment from The Commander’s Other House, the Real House, Where She Lives Some of the Days. If you’re there on the right day, you can get beef filet for like six bucks a pound.
• Walmart: Houghton Lake. Occasionally we go there when we need a few dog Halloween costumes along with our groceries.
• Four Seasons Squared: “the candy store” down the road at Houghton Lake. Also known as the “park store” a couple miles up the road from Fin Family Moominbeach, a newly expanded and pretty darn comprehensive little grokkery store.
• Best Choice Market! Clang, clang, clang! An upscale market at Houghton Lake. Friendly staff with all the latest local news. Feta spread? Bring it on!
• Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s: fun stuff but not on my regular beat. But……
• Plum Market is!!! An upscale grocery on the west side! We’ve arrived. Walking distance! And hey! My Jewish buddies’ take is that the kosher chicken is cheaper than Hiller’s.
• The Berkeley Bowl! A fellow customer: “Excuse me, ma’am do you know where the [insert exotic produce item I’ve never heard of here] is?” Zombie Woman: “Uh, I dunno, sorry. I bet one o’ these people that work here know.” Thinking: “Sorry sir, but I just got off the plane from Daytwa Metro this afternoon. I’ve been up since two AM Cali time and I’m a Zombie.” And then. Zombie Woman: “Hey, oh, here it is!” Yes, I found the exotic produce item. My friends told me I’d fit right in out in Berkeley and I did. Wish the Berkeley Bowl was on my beat a little more often.

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