In which Kayak Woman expresses a humble (?) opinion about the sport of football and BLUE in particular, even though she knows jack-doodly about the sport

My opinion, after being held captive in a chilly basement watching BLUE play RED for a few hours today? Well, let me back up a bit. I was not being held captive at all. I chose to go and hang out with some folks who wanted to watch a football game. It wasn’t a well thought-out plan (for me) by any means but it resulted in us hanging out with beloved relatives and getting rid of some food and beer that we wouldn’t have otherwise, so.. Let’s go! Anyway. We met up with The Marquis and Pooh and Rey over at the University of Meeecheeegan Arboretum midway through the morning. In a way, it’s hard for me to believe I have lived on the Planet Ann Arbor for 30 years and counting and don’t know my way around the Arb. But I don’t. I walk all kinds of other places but not usually the Arb. So it was extra fun for me.

And then. We were done walking. 3.25 moiles by my pedometer app. The Regenstreif clan was headed over to Chez Harry for turkey salad sandwiches. I thought that sounded good. Then. Out of the blue, the GG announced that HE was going to the Tractor Store. Yes. The Tractor Store. Ever been to one o’ those? I have. I helped The Commander buy a dog cage at one once. We now put our kayaks on top of that thing for the winter. Anyway. I hemmed and hawed. Do I wanna go to the Tractor Store with the GG or ride with the RegenAxes over to Chez Harry? I wouldda ridden with the RegenAxes but I also wanted to go *home* for a few minutes. So. I rode with the GG in the Dogha (what’s that noise, is a bearing going out?) to the tractor store. I sat in the parking lot while he went in to get his birdseed and TRIED to do the Saturday NYT crossword. Saturday always totally flummoxes me, darn it!!! Anyway. We then drove back to the Landfill to dispense the birdseed and grab some leftover beer and munchies. Y’all are glad you weren’t with us on that whole thing. I was a HARPY!!! Yes. The whole time!

Okay. Back in the Dogha. I *thought* we were going straight to Chez Harry’s at that point. But noooooo. We had to take a side trip to a car dealer. On the one hand, I was happy about this. I do not want to buy a new vee-hickle every year. Actually, we couldn’t afford to even if we wanted to. But I would like to buy new vee-hickles just a leetle bit more often. 150K? It’s time. So I was happy that the GG was directing some energy toward a particular vee-hickle. (And, er, he has moi blessing to buy that vee-hickle, even though I don’t particularly like the hen-shit brown type color. I don’t really care. I’ll deal. I mean that!!!!) On the other hand, I was about ready to start eating my arm!!!

Oh wait!! I said I had an actual opinion about football, right? Roight. My opinion is that BLUE (if you are from anywhere near the Great Lake State, you know what football team that is) got slaughtered today. My other, hem hem, opinion, which is not educated or very well researched, is… that… well… This new coach? Even somebody like me, who knows the U of M football schedule only to know when NOT to drive around town, knows the kind of person that old Bo was and the football teams that he fielded. Who the heck is this “new” guy Rodriguez? The U of M actually *bought* him out of a contract at, what school was that? To bring him here to lose football games left and right? What the heck?

We were at Chez Harry until the bitter end of the bloodbath. Thank god for the 3G network so I could surf the internet instead of sit there in stultification in front of the boob tube. At about six minutes from the end of the game, I started to work on dragging the GG outta there. I was thinking six minutes equals about a half hour. I was assured that this particular football-six minutes would go quicker than most. And that was right. They didn’t bother to stop the clock too many times at that point.

Hey, U or M, y’all used to have SPIRIT! I think you have lost that. I think that you can do better than what I saw today. And you already know that I am NOT a football fan. I’m just sayin’.

5 Responses to “In which Kayak Woman expresses a humble (?) opinion about the sport of football and BLUE in particular, even though she knows jack-doodly about the sport”

  1. Margaret Says:

    We have our purple and gold and crimson and gray here in WA. I’m a fan of the purple and gold! What vehicle are you looking at? I’m worried I’ll need one soon(can’t afford it). I love the word harpy, probably because I identify with it TOO OFTEN. 🙂

  2. Marquis Says:

    OK KW, I’ll explain the game of the fool’s ball to you
    That brown thing on the ground is da fool’s ball
    I want ya to bend over and place both hands on da fool’s ball
    I’ll stand behind ya
    Now spread yar legs apart
    I’ll put my hands between yer legs
    Don’t worry I work for the TSA
    Then I yell snap and you throw the fool’s ball to me
    Now the fun begins
    Oh, I forgot ta mention something
    While you are hunched over, holden the fool’s ball two really big guy are standin thar
    And they wanna hurt ya sum
    But hey, that fool’s ball

  3. Kathy Farnell Says:

    So Sorry! I love it when the Blue and Gold loses their game because it makes the Green and White look even better!

  4. Cooper Zale Says:

    Hey Kayak Woman… your opinions don’t seem that humble to me…*g* But definitely well put with a unique voice. Love your blog! Please keep Ann Arbor from getting too depressed… there’s more to the city than just Meeeecshigun Football!

  5. jane Says:

    KW – you are correct – Rich Rod has GOT TO GO! I could go on and on (and did yesterday while watching the game) but won’t in this comment section. except to say that I find myself in the odd position of hoping U-M loses whatever bowl game they play in so that the AD (David Brandon) has more reason to fire Rich Rod. he just doesn’t get it. I know it won’t happen, but really we need Harbaugh to come back to U-M (which would mean leaving his position at Stanford – and I don’t see that happening.) we need a ‘Michigan Man’ to coach here, and get back to the basics.