It started innocently. I [used to?] have these beauteous plastic snowman glasses with a matching wooden tray. The Commander and Grandroobly bought them for me at Kitchen Port. Alas, now defunct. Note to Kerrytown businesses: do NOT move out to Zeeb Road. Most of us only go out there for Meijer or Lowe’s. We like our upscale kitchen shops and whatnot to be downtown where they belong! Anyway. These glasses were good for ‘hattans or G&T’s or just a glass of pop or cranberry juice with ice. They hung around the Landfill Chitchen for a few years and then one hot summer day, I was in a kitchen purging mood and snowman glasses are really not particularly appropriate for a 95 degree day, so I stashed them. Somewhere. I think that’s how it went. I HOPE I didn’t get rid of them!!! At any rate, I thought of them today. I went down to the Landfill Dungeon and looked high and low, opening boxes left and right. Even boxes that were labeled “Baby blankets” and the like. Why I am saving baby blankets, I do not know, except for the ones that were handmade by The Commander.

Well. I didn’t find the snowman glasses and tray. But I did start looking around the dungeon. And I was pretty horrified. Man, oh man, what a mess! I keep saying we aren’t hoarders and so we aren’t. I mean we don’t save grocery receipts or newspapers or bread bags or margarine containers forever. But we all sort of collect our own things and the Landfill isn’t very big and we raised children here and yada yada yada. We have got to do something about getting rid of all this stuff. I don’t know what. I was making good progress for a while and then I sold my soul to corporate America and now things are worse than ever.

So, The Beautiful Lizard caught a flight at SFO at five-something PST this morning, after absolutely no sleep. Apparently it was Whiskey Night last night in the mission district, so she was up late and why sleep? Non-stop flight to DTW and everything was on time, thank you god or who/whatever. When she landed here at Hoarders R Us, the first thing she noticed was the bowl of leftover Halloween candy. Of course, the GG then retrieved a bag of ANCIENT Halloween candy collected by none other than TBL back in the Jurassic Age. Yes, really. I don’t know where he found it or why he is saving it. Some of us were rather astounded. Hoarders? Uhhh… She and The Commander (her grandmother) napped on opposite ends of one of the Landfill backroom couches. How good can it get? Welcome home, beautiful baba grrrl. She will kill me for calling her that and for mentioning Whiskey Night.

P.S. I now own a new coffee grinder and Chemex coffee-making thingy-do, thanks to the two bags of coffee beans that flew from Cali to here. I love you, baba grrrl. These days, when I want coffee in my house, I send the GG over to Zinnnnnngerman’s at the Plum Market for a to-go cup.

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