if (time = time_to_go_home) {
enter westbound I94 at State St.
else
stumble back into cubicle
}

if (exit = “Jackson Rd”) {
take Jackson Rd exit
else
continue until (exit = “Jackson Rd”)
}

if (n_maple = “construction”) {
turn left and go the ‘back’ way ’round
else
turn right and do the regular route
}

if (route=”back route” and brain_engaged = “yes”) {
go straight past the freeway entrance
elseif elsif elif else if (route=”back route” and brain_engaged=”brain on crack”) {
GET BACK ON FREEWAY AND GO EASTBOUND!!!! (yes, that’s back toward State St. entrance, WHERE I GOT ONTO THE BLASTED FREEWAY IN THE FIRST PLACE!)
ABEND! ABEND! ABEND!
}

Do not pass go. Do not pee the seat. Ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

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