I was sitting at work umpteen gatrillion years ago. I was feeling just a bit rocky. I was ambulatory and hadn’t quite figured out that I had whatever three-day gastrointestinal virus was currently infecting the Haisley Mafia. It did not involve vomiting and that in itself is TMI. What made the whole thing worse was that I. Had. Head lice. Along with it. Yes. Really. I eventually *forced* myself to take a sick day or two, something I am historically *very* reluctant to do. But fer kee-reist! I will never forget sitting in the bathtub feeling kinda rocky, waiting for the Nix to do its job. Could I possibly go any lower? I didn’t think so.

So, I was sitting at work umpteen quadrillion years ago and I was feeling kinda rocky and I (all that stuff I wrote in the last paragraph) and my boss Manuel waltzed into the office and helpfully reminded me in his beautiful Spanish accent about one of the current ongoing news stories. About hantaviruses. Yes. The feces of infected rodents had gone airborne out west in the Four Corners area and were killing seemingly random people. And, yes, it seemed to be heading east. Right toward us. Okay, I thought. Do I have a gastrointestinal bug (and head lice) or do I have (dun dun dun) HANTAVIRUS? To be fair, I don’t think you could describe Manuel’s method of locomotion that day as “waltzing” but he did sort of bound cheerfully into the room with that loverly little newsflash. And then, having thoroughly freaked me out, he waltzed on (maybe that is the best word for it after all) into his office.

Today when I left work, “eet” seemed to be coming from the *east* of all things. A massive dark cloud was over there getting blacker and blacker as if it were moving westward. That’s generally *backward*, at least here in the Great Lake State. The National Weather Service issued a “special alert” (or something like that) but not a warning. In the end, it was much ado about nothing. But we’re having weird, flip-floppy (as my neighbor says) weather this summer. At least I am not sick (knock on wood) and I don’t have head lice (knock on wood). And there was a llama and some sheep somewhere in all of this blather but I think they rebelled and went to Jerusalem Road or somewhere.

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