The boyz are back in town
I have spent the last week almost exclusively with women. I can say pretty much categorically that every single one of the women I have spent the last week with has absolutely rocked my world. There were a few boyz in there too and almost all of them have rocked my world too. And that’s all I’m gonna say about that. But I have been staying here in Squatter’s Paradise alone all by myself, er, except for Froooggy and Softy Beanbag. I am sleeping with them. I am not ashamed to say that. They are comforting. Some of the folks at the long term care facility are sleeping with dolls and stuffed animals. I hope I am never in that situation but, if I am, I will want Froggy with me. Yes.
Last night. I was sitting here hanging out on them thar tubes. You know the ones. The GG was on his way up here. About a half hour before he was scheduled to arrive, my beloved cuzzint, the mean old grunchie old Grinch pulled into the driveway. Not too long after that, in drove the GG. I had boyz! They each had a ‘hattan (I think the GG had two but the Grinch had to drive) and they were jawboning away a lot like my old coot used to do with the Grinch’s dad Duke. I miss those days and we need some more boyz in this fambly but it’s not my job to recruit them, so I guess I’ll take what I can get. Last night I had two of my fav-o-rite boyz here and… Don’tcha know, I am doing okay taking on all of this new reality but having those boyz here allowed me to relax just a wee little bit. First ‘hattan in a heck of a long time.
Today, the GG took a great load off my shoulders by hanging out down that the long term care rehab with The Commander. She gets along better with him than me, remember? He is a better hands-on caregiver than I am from the get-go but, in my defense, I am handling a whole lot of stuff that is outside of the hands-on stuff and I am the only person who can legally do that stuff. So, after working from Squatter’s Paradise and calling her doc (or trying to) and lawyers and stuff, when I walk in and the head OT person (goddess!) is trying to find clothing for her (and The Comm DOES GET HERSELF DRESSED, MAKE NO MISTAKE!) I am sort of bdaa-bdaa-bdaa, well, I think there are some clothes here somewhere. I found them but I am more cut out for the financial/lawyer stuff than the day-to-day care. Even though I don’t know what the *hell* I am doing with that stuff either. I am trying to do my best. I am not cut out for some parts of this. But I am trying…
With much trepidation, I am going to take a rocket trip to The Planet Ann Arbor this weekend. I’m leaving early tomorrow morning and I will be back Sunday afternoon. The GG is here for the weekend. And I am going to make a pizza dinner for me and my boyz when I get back on Sunday night. And there is Cupcake whine up here at Glen’s. Thank you god. I was talking to myself at that point. Right there in the damned grokkery store.
Here’s the thing. We are a *team* here. I am the leader (arguably, The Comm is still the commander and I will defer to her if I feel it’s important). I am not particularly the best leader in the world but my role in The Comm’s rehab is coming sharply into focus. There are many many many people who are on our team here. Anyone who is not interested in being a team member? Well. We’ll see. I may be a baggy old kayak woman but I know when I am being stonewalled or hornswoggled. And so does The Commander. And neither one of us will put up with any of that kind of crap. So. Get on board with our team. Or not.
April 22nd, 2011 at 8:20 pm
So, has everyone been helpful? Your last two sentences make me think that there has been some interesting drama. Do tell. 😉 I was very happy/relieved to defer to my SIL in all day to day matters concerning my MIL. I helped with what I could and she appreciated it, but I was quite uncomfortable in the role of advocate. (felt like I didn’t know what I was doing most of the time)
April 22nd, 2011 at 8:49 pm
GG is such a likable guy so I know why your mom likes him. Also, I remember that my mom and dad liked Doug better than they liked me – or at least it seemed that way. In fact, I think they liked Doug better than any of their kids! Why? Because they did not have to put up with him when he was growing up and because he was always on his best behavior in their presence! (He took good care of their daughter and grandkids, too) You are doing a wonderful job taking care of your mom. Make no mistake – she loves you and appreciates what you are doing for her. Love you, Anne. Have a safe trip home on Sat. and hug your beautiful daughter for me.
April 23rd, 2011 at 12:22 am
This is so tough, and I’m MUCH worse than how you seem to see yourself in in this situation. With my dad and his hospitalization and rehab in January and February, I deferred to my brother. Mostly because Dad had made him power of attorney, executer, etc. anyway, and also because with both of them being “boyz” they just tend to confer with each other better (than if it had been me, being the oldest). If the tables were turned and it was my mom, I’m sure I would have been in your shoes. Awkward with it all, but not feeling quite as lost as I would with my dad. It’s complex, all these dynamics. I’m very grateful for my brother.
April 23rd, 2011 at 9:09 am
Anne,
You are dealing with difficult situations, and ones with which you haven’t had much practice. (Not that you’d want to get to be an expert in this type of situation.) Give yourself a hug for doing a good job under pressure. Bring your flute back up with you, and maybe some fabric or beads. Indulge yourself with some creative activity. Drive safely.
p.s. I was laughing at your tweet on the robin attacking his reflection on the windshield. I’ve spent the last few days in a conference room with a cardinal attacking his reflection in one of the windows. He has a set routine. Alight on the top branch of the bush. Fly up about 3 feet, hit the window, repeat 3 times. Then go to a lower branch in the bushes and fly about 6 inches to attack that spot. Fly off to the nearby tree. Come back and repeat often.
April 23rd, 2011 at 9:28 am
You are either on the [Anne’s] bus, or you are OFF THE BUS.
-UU