Shell shocked

It’s Thursday Sunday and I have returned from the Twilight Zone to the Planet Ann Arbor (I think). Is that really where I am? How long will I be here? I do not know…

I have been stuck up there in the yooperland for a month, the last week with the Ninja, which is a loverly little vee-hickle but not really built to travel well on snow. So I was nervous about what the road conditions would be like for my five-hour drive today and started watching Weatherbug on my phone like a hawk about last Thursday. I mean the real Thursday, not Thursday/Sunday. It looked good on Thursday and it looked good on Friday and it looked good yesterday and they were predicting some light snow showers for last night but those never materialized and today dawned cloudy but 30 degrees and NO PRECIPITATION! WHEW! Thank you god.

I reluctantly switched from Sudbury radio to National Petroleum Radio when it started flaking out somewhere north of St. Ignace. No more weather reports from Moosonee or Chapleau or Timmins. Sigh. It remained cloudy until I dropped down out of the highlands at West Branch and will you look at those summer-like skies?

At any rate, it was an absolutely loverly trip down. The I75 SUV Speedway was dry pavement all the way, perfect conditions for my cute little Ninja. Just like summer but without the traffic. When I finally reached landfall here at the Landfill, I walked out to the back yard to take some rotten vegetables and things to the compost and check for crocus sprouts (YES! In February?) and I stood a minute or two to bask in the sun.

I hung about for a while, slowly unpacking a few things, numbly wondering something like, “Where am I? How do I?” Finally I gathered my wits about me and shuffled off over to the Plum Market. And that’s when I started getting emotional. I don’t know about you but when I go through something like I have spent the last month on, I am more likely to be found laughing than crying. Oh, there were a few moments of extreme frustration and sometimes terror. Like last weekend when the GG left me up there ALONE! With the non-snow vee-hickle!! I knew that it was for the best but I was so freaked out… But I was okay. I shifted gears. I missed the hubbub of having my wonderful cousins there and I missed having the GG around, not to mention that he is one of The Comm’s fav-o-rite people on earth. But I was okay. I walked back and forth to FV in the snow and sometimes in the dark and I vegged out with bad TV and I was okay. And then the Grinchie discovered that I was still around and Dogmomster came up to keep me company and… Yes, I was okay.

<emo-stuff>I could feel my long-stashed emotions threatening to bubble over as I walked toward the Plum Market. I felt tears beginning to form as I shopped the produce section. Heirloom tomatoes? Really? Still? I picked up some salmon filets at the seafood counter. The [new] guy said, “Come back again.” I blurted out, “Oh, I’m a regular shopper, I’ve just been out of town for a month…” And I had to get away from there quick because I was losing it fast. And then. Of all things, Incense and Peppermints [YouTube video] by the Strawberry Alarm Clock came on over the speakers. That was one of my favorite songs back in 7th grade or whatever. I was already in a some kind of space warp. Now I was also in a time warp. I shuffled along through the Plum trying to get control over my stoopid tears before I had to interact with a cashier. In the end, it was that interaction that snapped me out of it. The young man who was bagging was babbling about bathing in fresh mozzarella juice. It was great for your skin, yada yada. I appreciated his concern but uh, no thanks. I will not be bathing in mozzarella water any time soon. There was a bit more of the usual spring in my gait on the way home.</emo-stuff>

When I got home I put my grokkeries away and put one of the sleeping bags in the washer and I dunno what else and then I texted the GG something like, “wanna do a river walk?” And we did. It was muddy as all getout and I had my Chaco sandals (and a skirt) on but heck, it’s just a little urban hike and I needed that.

I dunno what’s next. I have been living in a mashup of the movies Fargo and Groundhog Day for a month now. Things are stable now but they could go either way. I am almost betting on up but this could also be the eye of a hurricane. I don’t know…

Anyway… Love you all so much,
Kayak Woman

6 Responses to “Shell shocked”

  1. Sam Says:

    Crossing fingers on “stable”. Big sigh. UR back from your own version of a personal Superbowl? Time for a salad bowl? My confusion sends good energy.

  2. Kathy Farnell Says:

    Glad you had such a nice trip back – we had very little traffic and sunny skies for the trip home from HL this morning. I hope you get a much need rest and we are thinking about you every day. I bought Salmon today too for Doug’s BD dinner tomorrow. Love you.

  3. Margaret Says:

    Glad you are home and hoping that life gets back to status quo. Whatever that is anyway. Letting out your emotions is healthy!! I’m happy for your walk and all the small things surrounding you that make life normal.

  4. DogMomster Says:

    I’m glad I could be up there with you for even the few days we had. It was a chance to sort out (for me) what is going on with The Comm, and make sure you are doing OK. I think we helped The Comm in a few ways, and it was kinda cool to be part of her first visiting sortie since late December….

    Still processing, though…

  5. jay Says:

    Do you have a wood chipper up there?

  6. jay Says:

    Glad you are back in A2 for a while.