Every day is mother’s day.

As I think I have blahgged about before, I couldn’t care less about Mother’s Day. Hanging out at a fancy restaurant wearing an fancy uncomfortable pastel outfit and beauteously permed hair and eating too much heavy-duty food is not my thing. Breakfast for me today was yogurt, a half-bowl of Cheerios, and orange juice. Still, I literally could not remember what I did on Mother’s Day 2011. I couldn’t even remember where I *was* on that day. It was right smack in the middle of my sojourn as a 21st Century Nomadic Enigma and I had no memory. Fortunately, I am an obsessive-compulsive blahgger who blathers away every day whether or not I have anything interesting to say. So I looked it up! It turns out that I drove down from the yooperland that day and spent the afternoon on Mouse’s beauteous balcony and shopping at Cost Plus.

Okay, now I remember… I felt so much relief that day. I loved my mother, make no mistake, but our relationship was complicated (like *many* mother-daughter relationships, including those I have with my own beautiful daughters). The Commander had some difficult times during the last few years when (I think) she was starting to need more help and refusing to admit it. And she was able to pull the wool over my eyes to a great extent but that would be a subject for another blahg entry (or maybe it’ll never make it onto the internet).

So, the crisis I knew would eventually occur came last spring and I will just say that, when I read that 2011 Mother’s Day entry, I feel the relief I felt that day. The Comm was forced to live temporarily in the last situation she wanted to be in, which was a hospital long-term care unit with several roommates, two of whom had serious dementia. Sigh. She could not safely live at her house. She did not want to leave the yooperland (after 60 years there). But she was all there mentally and boy oh boy did she push my buttons! Anyway, I was sooooooo glad to be able to return to the Planet Ann Arbor that day. The GG was in the yooperland taking some of his huge number of vacation hours and he hung out with The Commander so that I could actually work over *at* my loverly, dog-poopy cube and decompress in my own house and yard in the evening. It was all good. The Commander liked the GG better than me in a lot of ways but that would be still another blahg entry that I may not ever write.

Eventually we got The Commander into the beautiful assisted living facility that was our choice (mine and hers), albeit grudgingly on her part. At that time, I figured The Commander had a few good years left so I was pretty surprised when her health started to deteriorate and she became sort of a frequent flyer to the ER. She recovered from all of those trips but each one of them took more out of her. And then, during her last trip over to the hoosegow, she contracted a Clostridium difficile bacterial infection. That one did her in. Although she actually beat off the infection, she was too weak (at 91) to keep on keeping on… This was not something I had the capacity to help with except to absorb about a gazillion existential questions that I couldn’t answer. I hope that makes up for all the times she changed my diapers or cleaned up my vomit but it probably doesn’t…

Mother’s Day today? Knock on wood, We went off shopping for plants and stuff. Clematis plants that we *hope* will climb our new arbor. A couple of tomato plants. The “salad bowl” in the photooo. I love leaf lettuce but I am wondering if this thing will actually provide me with salad or give Henry some fast food. We’ll see.

Love you Moom wherever you are. Both of the beach urchins texted me their good wishes. I was okay with that! 🙂

One Response to “Every day is mother’s day.”

  1. Margaret Says:

    Yep, I agree. Today in JFK airport a Jet Blue employee asked me, “Are you a mother?” I couldn’t figure out why but answered, “Um, yes…” What I should have said after her Happy Mothers’ Day wishes was BUT I’M NOT YOUR MOTHER. I saw neither one of my girls on this day but both are loving and present for me every day. That’s what matters! I did manage to visit my mom briefly after we got back from NYC.