I was thinking maybe I need a dorg


It was the skunking hour and I was sound asleep. And then. I awoke with a start as “something” lightly brushed my exposed shoulder. WHAT WAS THAT? I dozed off again. I felt it on my foot! Then it got the GG. “It’s a MOUSE!” said he.

A mouse? In the bedroom? We do periodically get mice (scurry mice, that is, as opposed to puffalump mice, which are welcome here). But they stay in the chitchen where the food is. Or occasionally the dungeon, where they have been known to make nests in boxes of old clothes, etc. Which makes it easy to fling things. Bedroom? I do NOT eat in bed.

It was time to get up and face the day, so I took a shower and then headed off to the chitchen. I washed a couple of glasses that were left over from last night and put the clean dishes away. As I opened the glassware cupboard, I glimpsed something furry dashing across the counter. YIKES! There it is. I didn’t get a good enough glimpse to note its size. All I saw was fur.

And then… The aminal jumped off the end of the counter and hightailed it out to the back room. Holy kee-reist! It was at least five or ten times bigger than a MOUSE! Yeesh! Was it a RAT? We can handle mice around here but a rat infestation would likely require professional intervention. But it was bigger than the only rat I have ever known up close and personal. That would be Mouse’s loverly pet rat Izzy. And that tail… It was thick and furry… Not rat-like at all.

I dragged the GG out of bed. Not an easy task. I guess he would’ve rather stayed there while a “mouse” scurried around the house randomly running across his body. Yer fav-o-rite blahgger was already strategizing camping out at Mouse’s apt or npJane’s condo or even Bugs & Horsey’s luxury hotel! He got up grudgingly to do Old Baggy’s bidding, i.e., help find the aminal. To our great surprise, our friend was easily found hunkering down in the plastic container I use to collect composting materials, munching on veggies. A young SQUIRREL!!! We quickly covered the compost thingy with a cookie sheet and the GG carried the whole shebang outside and released the squirrel. He was doing a Burke so I hope none of the new neighbors were watching…

How did it get inside the Landfill? Weeellllll… It is a DRY summer. There are NO BUGS!!! That means that, when we open the sliding doors in the back room, we do not necessarily remember to keep the screens closed. I couldn’t give you a blow-by-blow of last evening’s events if I tried but I will guess the side door was open long enough for a young squirrel to get in and then closed before he could find his way back out.

After this loverly little episode, I was thinking maybe I should get a dorg. I know that a dorg would not let me sleep a whole night not knowing that a SQUIRREL was in the house. I mean, these froogs are USELESS! They probably got the squirrel drunk on listerine and laundry detergent or something. On the other hand, if I had a dorg, I would be forever dealing kwith with dorg poop. These froogs don’t poop.

Of course, given this morning’s incident, the $50,000 question is: how much squirrel poop and where?

5 Responses to “I was thinking maybe I need a dorg”

  1. Marquis Says:

    Rally Squirrel!

  2. Margaret Says:

    A baby squirrel–HOW CUTE! Unless it’s in your house of course. And pooping. 🙁

  3. Aimee Nassoiy Says:

    So what I want to know is how in the world did the Frooogg duplicate him/herself? And how many of them are plotting to travel west?

  4. Tonya Watkins Says:

    Hmm. You might just get a real kick out of a dorg. They LOVE to take walks, you know. And all that unconditional love is pretty hard to resist. (And I love that they don’t demand conversation — although they DO pick up on words. Eventually).

  5. Pooh Says:

    I second Aimee’s question. Youth wants to know!