See the USA in your Chevrolet

treebonesLemme see… I have never personally owned a Chevrolet. I learned to drive on a Pontiac… … What the heck was that thing? Oh yeah, a Pontiac Tempest. How could I forget that? I know that’s not a Chevrolet but it is at least in the General Motors family. It did NOT have power steering or brakes. Not sure about the brakes. But probably not. It was an old-skool vee-hickle.

I remember random things about being a new driver. Tapping Backing into Marjorie in the high school parking lot as I was pulling out to drive her and my other friends down to the athletic field for marching band practice. I mean I tapped backed into *Marjorie* the person, not Marjorie’s car. She didn’t have a car or a license to drive, she was riding with meeeeee… I was NOT going fast and [thank you Zeus or whoever] she was not the slightest bit injured and I learned something the hard way. Then there was something about “skipping” school and driving my friends to Clyde’s for lunch. Was a cigarette involved? I am foggy on this detail but fortunately, I cannot inhale smoke in any way shape or form and I never became a smoker. Finally, there was Bad [Ex-]Boyfriend calling me a Mad Highway Driver on a chance encounter downtown. He was a year older than me and so was MUCH more experienced.

So, in my life so far, I have owned:

  • A crappy old green Ford Pinto wagon. I loved that vee-hickle but that was probably because it was the first vee-hickle I owned — a hand-me-down from my parents. If I had been in the habit of naming automotive vee-hickles in those days, probably Stinky would’ve been a good name.
  • The cute little gold Ford Fiesta that my parental units helped me buy NEW ($5000!) when it became clear that it would cost more to fix the damn rust on the Pinto than the value of the vee-hickle. I was not naming automotive vee-hickles yet but I still had that car when Lizard Breath was able to express herself verbally and it became Mama’s Little Gold Car. Other Ford Fiestas in her life were Daddy’s little Blue Car and The Orange Car (down the street).
  • The loverly 5-speed manual VW Jetta we bought when Lizard was about eight months old and we were sick to death of dealing with putting a kid into a car seat in the BACK seat of a vee-hickle with only two doors. We didn’t name that one either, at least that I remember. I think we were a little busy.
  • The Exxon Tanker Valdez! Minivan number 1. Plymouth Voyager. Yes we were naming vee-hickles by then.
  • The Indefatigable! Jeep Wrangler. Lasted 17 years and taught two young women and a whole host of their cuzzints and friends to drive STICK! YAY for manual transmissions!!!
  • The POC. My much coveted minivan number 2. It was a beeyootifful Island Teal color (not all that different than the new chitchen’s tile backsplash). Alas, it was kind of a lemon. I never exactly got stuck on the side of the road but it was a pain in the you-know-what.
  • The Dogha! [Dirty Old Green Honda Accord] Hands down, I think the Dogha is my fave ever! Top dollar Honda Accord EX-V6. All kinds of pick-up when you needed it and that thing did snow driving like nobody’s business! My brother the GENERAL MOTORS engineer steered me toward that vee-hickle but that would be a whole ‘nother blahg entry and one that I have probably written before.
  • Daisy: The Cute Little Blue Honda Civic With the Yellow Flower Sticking outta the Dash. We drove this for a few good years and then gifted it to Mouse, who still drives it.
  • The Ninja: Black inside and out. 6-speed manual “performance” Honda Civic. Unfortunately, that also means the taaaarrrs aren’t all that good in slippery conditions. This winter was a challenge. But I loooove that vee-hickle and I will have a hard time parting with it when it gets to be time…
  • The Mean Green Frog Hoppin’ Musheen: Yes, Subaru Outback. We needed something that could pull a trailer or boat and deal with “interesting” road conditions. The Frog Hopper is not comparable to the Indefatigable but it does handle snow and iffy back roads well. BTW, my blahggy buddy Margaret helped me name the Mean Green Frog Hoppin’ Musheen!

What vee-hickle will we buy next? I’m not ready to buy but my vote would be for another top dollar Honda Accord. I just hope it’s as good as the Dogha was.

I have never personally owned a General Motors vee-hickle of any sort. But, for whatever reason, that old Chevy commercial has become an earworm that I can’t get rid of (it’s been about a month). I have a couple other earworms going on including I Love the Flower Girl. Go figger.

2 Responses to “See the USA in your Chevrolet”

  1. Margaret Says:

    I love my Chevy Trailblazer, although it’s getting long in the tooth and I need to think about a new vehicle. My brother has driven Suburus(loved them!) but now has a Honda Accord and thinks it’s awesome. Glad I could help with the name! 🙂 I would really like a Toyota Highlander hybrid, but I want to pay cash and that would be tough.

  2. Pooh Says:

    I see you’re not counting the PURPLE Gremlin. Not that I blame you.