Rich and depressed.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I am *far* from rich. Financially, anyway. But I do occasionally have a little, um, money around for once in my life. After all those vagabond years. Dependent on a man fer money, fer kee-reist. What was I thinking? But knock on wood big time. The next dead appliance or expensive vee-hickle repair is probably just around the corner and, in this catastrophically horrible season of the economy, who knows when any random corporation may decide to lay people off. Not expecting that but ya never know. So I still slog on and try to save and not spend too much on frivolous junk that’ll clutter up my basement for some poor long-suffering descendant to have to shovel indiscriminately into a dumpster some day.

Depressed? Naw. But yaknow? It has been dark and cold and snowy and icy ever since about Thanksgiving and it’s like this every year but when you work roughly nine to five here in the Great Lake State, in December, you pretty much leave for work in the dark and get home in the dark. I *love* the dark and the cold and the snow and the ice. Except I don’t like walking on the kind of glare ice where, if there is *any* slope at all, you are in freefall. I saw a high school kid surfing along down an icy hill toward the bus stop this morning when I was walking. I used to do that. I’m more careful now. I’m sure that a fall on ice will signal death for me someday. Oh don’t worry, not for a long time.

And I am not ready for Christmas. Not at all. We have a new load of wood and I am usually the wood stacker. I don’t have time. It’ll prob’ly freeze into a big pile out there at the top of the driveway where Milligan appropriately dumped it. I am not keeping up with routine housework. Did I ever? I do try. MWBB says when you vacuum in the dark, you don’t do a good job anyway, so I guess I’m not alone. I have purchased absolutely *no* gifts for anyone. I have a [very detailed] list from one person. I have ideas for two more. Kids, what do you want?

I am not depressed and I still walk every morning and I usually go out at lunch instead of hanging in the lunch room, as much as I enjoy the lunch room folks. But walking our beautiful little business park nature trail or running whatever errands I can fit into a half hour or thereabouts gets me out into whatever light there is outside. And I still love the dark and the cold and the snow and the ice. And all of the lights that people put up at this season to try to ward off the dark and the cold and the snow and the ice. But I am singin’ the blues just a wee a bit this season…

Somehow I keep thinking that light is what all of the December holidays are all about.

8 Responses to “Rich and depressed.”

  1. Dog Mom Says:

    “Winter Solstice Celebration” is what was wrenched away from the “heathens” (pagans?) by the Crusaders during the mass conversions and then turned into Christmas…. so, yes, it *is* all about light and the rebirth of the lengthening days.

  2. Marquis Says:

    Dear Dog Mom,

    Get thee to a nunary

  3. Marquis Says:

    Get thee to a nunnery, because you’re in need of some religious education. First off, Christmas coincides with winter solstices, because early Christians used the Roman Saturn holiday to mask their own, less they become martyrs. Second, the Crusaders didn’t arrive on the scene until about 1100 years after the first Christmas. Third, I like my blog better, because I can edit/delete comments like the previous one.

  4. Dog Mom Says:

    Oh, Marquis, all I need is ANOTHER Literalist in the famdamily! Yeah, I condensed “history” markedly (pun intended) just to make a point. So. There. Nyah.

  5. kayak woman Says:

    Well, lest anyone mistakenly think I know more than about a teaspoonfuls worth of religious history, I don’t. That light thing is just my own personal theory.

  6. Margaret Says:

    It’s all about light and heat when we most need it. I am fighting to get home while it’s still light, and barely making it most days.

  7. Tonya Says:

    I think that’s why I hate November so much, because it’s very dark with NO lights. At least December has all those Christmas lights everywhere and there is something uplifting about it (even if I’m feeling bah-humbuggy). I do believe this is intentional/planned from very long ago, and there IS a wee bit of encouragement in knowing that the shortest day of the year is soon approaching and THEN the days will start getting longer again. I’m a native northerner, but gah! The darkness gets to me.

  8. Marquis Says:

    Earlier this week I jumped on Dog Mom about religion. I apologize for that comment. I have subsequently found a more constructive medium for expressing my beliefs, on my son’s blog’s post on Church and State:

    Please also read the comments.