Retirement Rule #1

hickenIf you leave the house before your Un-Retired Pardner gets home, please text her to let her know if you have locked the doggamn door or not.

We are still in Dress Rehearsal for Real Retirement this week but it’s happening soon. Yes, really. But not for me.

So, I got home today and no one was home and [miraculously] my phone unlocked Disco Lock. Or so I thought. I didn’t think to look at what color disco lock turned when it did its thing. I tried to open the door. No luck. I did not process this problem correctly. My brain said something like, “Why did he lock the bottom lock?” That one needs a key. I did not have a house key on the set of car keys I was carrying*. I gyrated around to find the hidden-outside key and and and… When I put it in the bottom lock… … … I couldn’t open the damn door because the deadbolt (which I open and close with my fricking phone) was LOCKED! By this time, my phone was too far away from Bluetooth to open the door so I was galumphing around all over the place dealing with laptop bag, lunchbag, and purse/phone case. I managed to get the doggamn door open again… … …

So, the Almost-Retired Person had thoughtfully left the door unlocked for me. The problem was that I am so accustomed to being the first person home at the end of the day, that I am the first person (at that time of day) to open the door since I locked it in the morning. Oh, sometimes Mouse rolls through for mail/garden/whatever but usually I leave in the morning and come home in the afternoon and nothing has changed.

*I have long thought that each set of car keys needs to have a key to *every* house this family owns. That’s three, Landfill, Long Point, and moomincabin. At one point, not too many years ago, I think we sort of managed that. That has eroded a bit and the set of Frog Hopper keys that I was using today did not have a key to The Landfill on it. I hope that one of the first things the GG does next week is to make sure that all sets of car keys also include keys to our properties.

One Response to “Retirement Rule #1”

  1. Margaret Says:

    That would be frustrating! I have several keys in hidden places and my parents have a key. That came from a fairly recent windstorm where my power went out and I couldn’t get into my house.