Windex and Black Pepper and That Closet

closetYou know the one. The closet that little ticky-tacky houses 1950s houses like the Landfill have. The one right inside the front door where, if you don’t have a garage, all of the automotive vee-hickle related stuff gets stored. Plus a whole bunch of tools and maybe a vacuum cleaner or three or four. Yeah. That Closet.

I have not taken up Louie-Louiiiii’s suggestion of creating a Job Jar for The Pensioner but it has long been on my personal bucket list to 1) remove EVERYTHING from That Closet, 2) CLEAN That Closet, and 3) put only the stuff we actually NEED back in. This is an activity that I would willingly take on myself except that there is a LOT of truly useful stuff in that closet but I would have no clue about the utility of many individual items. Tools? I am not all that handy in a mechanical sense. I own ONE screwdriver. I use it to screw the handles back onto my red colander when they come loose. My screwdriver is even labeled KAYAK WOMAN’S! That’s so people The Pensioner will know to put it back in my kitchen drawer when they borrow it. Which they may well do because I’m not sure if anyone could find *any* specific item in That Closet at any given time, even a simple screwdriver, which is why I have my own labeled screwdriver. As the Gumper used to say, “I am always missing 10% of my stuff but it’s always a different 10%.” You know how it goes.

Anyway, I was ecstatic when I noticed that Stuff was coming outta That Closet today. Even though it meant that I couldn’t run Rooooomba in the front living room. I was sooooo ecstatic that I vacuumed the heck out of the closet floor, ran some hot soapy water in the kitchen sink, grabbed a microfiber towel, and scrubbed the heck out of the floor and surrounding baseboards. I don’t know exactly how much Stuff went back *in* to That Closet. It looks like more Stuff that I would have wanted. I will guess that the big old half-gallon booze bottles filled with pennies went back in. But I’ll take it.

Windex? I wish I knew why, whenever I need a bottle of Windex, I cannot find one. I KNOOOOOOWWWWW that we have Windex around here. Or is it at the moomincabin? Or in the Lyme Lounge? Or in the Frog Hopper? (I KNOW it isn’t in the Ninja because I almost always know pretty much *exactly* what’s in the Ninja.) I think that something like THREE bottles of Windex were in That Closet. Remind me not to put Windex on my grokkery list any time soon. WE HAVE WINDEX!!! Same thing with black pepper (actually peppercorns) but I’m not gonna go on and on and on (and on) tonight and there was definitely not any black pepper in That Closet.

P.S. Yes, my bucket list is reeeeeallly boring. G’night!

3 Responses to “Windex and Black Pepper and That Closet”

  1. The Master of The Universe Says:

    Coincidence Regarding Screwdrivers:

    I was going through my tools bags this afternoon making sure that I DID NOT have any tools that belonged to ‘Kayak Woman’. I did this before my ‘accomplice in life’ wrote today’s blog.

  2. Sam Says:

    Side note: “personal bucket list” is also sometimes referred to as “melon list” (of course referring to “honey dew” melons, but you already figured that out, ¿no?), or, less obliquely as honey-dew list. Thank you and good night. Please don’t forget to tip your waitress.

  3. Margaret Says:

    I have my own hammer because Patt’s tools were always in mysterious places in the garage or in his van, also in mysterious places. Windex is great for many cleaning tasks, like marks on walls. I use it quite frequently. 🙂