A “NO SOLICITORS” sign, that is.

Knock, knock, knock! Well, it wasn’t anyone that I *know* because there is a special signal that most known visitors use. Which I will NOT publish on the web, of course. It was a young guy holding a package of gift wrap out at me. What is this, I wondered. I craned my neck just a bit until I saw his accomplice, a young woman equipped with a catalog, clipboard, and pen, just outside my field of vision.

“How are you?” he asked in a pseudo-cheerful voice.

“No thank you!” I replied, in a sort of sing-song voice that I hoped would be both cheerful and firm enough to nip any ensuing conversation in the bud.

“Well, this was free, so I’ll just go and give it to your neighbor!” he said, his tone of voice not hiding the fact that his opinion of me rhymed with “witch.” He and his companion walked down the driveway, obviously discussing my stupidity for not falling for their little scam.

Sorry boy, but I know that the gift wrap in your hand is not free. Not really. I know that you are going to shove it into my hand and then try to fast-talk me into looking at your damn catalog. I do not want to buy your gift wrap. I did not ask you to come into my neighborhood and sell stuff and I certainly did not ask you to come to my door. IF I NEED GIFT WRAP OR RELIGION OR WHATEVER, I WILL GO OUT AND FIND IT! And I don’t even have to be polite to you if I don’t want to. This is my house and I did not invite you into it.

Didn’t your moom ever tell you not to go selling things door to door? It’s dangerous! You might run into people baggy ol’ witches like me! grok GROK!

6 Responses to “I NEED A SIGN!!”

  1. jane Says:

    Thanks for the heads up! If anyone knocks on my door in the next couple days I’ll know to check thru the peep hole first. Go away annoying sales people!!

  2. Webmomster Says:

    Anyone wanna make me a “NO SOLICITORS” sign in neon??

    However, I *will* talk to the Boy Scouts with popcorn and Girl Scouts with cookies and the local school kids doing the mandatory fundraiser stuff. Just everyone else can go drop into the heffalump trap in the front yard.

  3. kayak woman Says:

    I *absolutely* will buy from the scouts *and* Haisley elementary kids but I’m guessing they’ve probably deep-sixed the dreaded “candy sale” that I used to keep records for. A year or so ago, two cute little brownies in complete uniform came by with their cute little granny. Who could resist?

  4. kate Says:

    I get inundated at work with fundraiser stuff. Thankfully, the parents just spread the order forms and catalogs out in the kitchen and you can chose to order or not. The candy sales actually work pretty good because people can just buy it right then and there.
    My niece is a girl scout so she gets the cookie order. The catalogs tend to be filled with lots of cheap stuff. I remember those days and how they got the kids all excited with the contests to get prizes for selling lots of stuff (read junk). I always just wanted to write a check to the school instead. I’m glad those days are over. Now it’s paying for college though.


  5. kayak woman Says:

    My worst fund-raising moment was when Mike Madison somehow shang-hai’d me into actually being on the *stage* at Forsythe when they handed out the prizes for the candy sale. It was absolutely horrible.

    btw: watch out for the bathtub liner folks that have been going door-to-door in the neighborhood. The Burtons have actually *hired* them. But then, you just *got* your bathroom redone so you have an easy comeback if they get you at home.

  6. kate Says:

    When the bathtub guy came, I hid in the spare room after looking out the window. He left a flier on my door. Nope, don’t need him. I do that a lot. Spy out the window and then just don’t answer. : )