Five years

It was five years ago today that I got the news that The Commander had entered a new dimension. It was a Friday, like today. I was not with her and I will forever feel guilty about that. I had spent over a month with her up in Sault Ste. Siberia. We got her settled into hospice care at the assisted living facility she never totally adjusted to (failure to thrive was her hospice diagnosis, basically, she was refusing food and meds and asking demanding to die).

Of course, once she got settled in with hospice and started feeling a bit better, she rallied a bit. I made the excruciatingly difficult choice to return to my home and job on The Planet Ann Arbor. At the time, I had no clue how long she would live. I felt like I was trapped in the Groundhog Day movie.

I will never forget the day I drove down. The temperatures were summer-like (like they were today) and I walked over to the Plum Market for some groceries and I cried the whole darn time I was in there. To this day, I do not know why, exactly, just one of those mixed-up emotional things. I have not cried at the Plum Market since that day but I am teary-eyed now as I write this. Oh, it’s okay.

I did not see The Commander again before she died. The GG went up the next weekend and got into a little mix-up with a deer on the way home (at mile marker 206) and the Frog Hopper was in the body shop for a few days and then it was all over. I was working from home that day. I can’t remember why but I think it was snowing. The GG was taking a nap and I kind of stared him awake with the news.

We didn’t drive up that day. The weather was terrible and what would be the point? So we walked down for dinner at the Oscar Tango and saddled up for the journey the next morning.

Five years later, we have had a spiky kind of winter with a February spate of summer-like temperatures. A huge thunderstorm rolled through town today. The GG and Chicks (our OT server) both happened to be taking naps during the storm. I was at work and all I can say is that the storm disrupted work for about an hour. The Tall Boss finally told all of us to go home early and The Benevolent Despot skedaddled pretty much around the same time.

I’m sure The Comm cannot order our weather from over there on the other side but I like to fantasize that she hurled a few lightning bolts at me today! Love you Moom. Five years.

2 Responses to “Five years”

  1. Tonya Watkins Says:

    That’s amazing to me that it’s been five years. I remember reading about you going through all of this, and it just does not seem that long ago. Then again, it’ll be 11 years in May since my mom died, and that blows my mind, too. She would have loved Obama. She would have HATED trump. Knowing those two things gives me comfort.

  2. Margaret Says:

    I agree with T. It doesn’t seem that long ago. Of course, when I think about Patt dying over 4 years ago, that seems odd too. In some ways it seems like just yesterday, yet in others it feels like forever. Hard to describe the emotions…or the surreal nature of losing loved ones.