Inspired by another blogger, I am going to talk about my usual shower thoughts. (Disclaimer: hers are a lot more interesting than mine.)

I suspect my shower thoughts are not associated with the shower as much as the time of day I take a shower. I take a shower FIRST THING in the morning, EVERY morning. I am pretty direct about getting in and out of there quickly. I am an EXPERT at washing long, thick hair so COVID hair is not a problem. And I can reach my entire back with one arm or another (is that TMI?). At the end, I wipe down the shower tile/doors, get dressed, take a walk, and get on with my day.

For whatever reason, as soon as I get in the shower, every dad-blasted day, it’s like, “oh yeah, that”. Memories surface of a horrible period of time after The Commander’s death. As I was picking my way through the aftermath of my mother’s death, dealing with her estate, cleaning out her house, and WORKING, etc., my adult children and I were viciously attacked by lawyers on behalf of someone I thought was a friend. This came totally out of the blue and to this day I have no idea what precipitated it.

The next couple years were absolutely awful. I was badmouthed every which way and worse, which effectively gaslighted me into thinking I had done something wrong. If all the attacker wanted was to make me feel miserable, they totally succeeded. Hey, you won? But why? And what did you win?

In the end, my attacker retreated. Like with tRump’s continued assaults on various states, no one could come up with anything I had actually done wrong. Alas, it was a few years after that before the whole episode stopped invading my thoughts pretty much 24/7. Somehow I managed to continue living and working productively. I guess because I am MEEEEE. I have a successful life and I am surrounded by many more friends than enemies.

I am not “supposed” to blahg about this. I mean my family won’t like it much but it is MY blahg and this is part of my life. And I HAVE gotten beyond it. To a great extent, I don’t think about it much at all. Still, every morning, as soon as I step into the shower I seem to take a moment to reflect upon that time and the person behind it. I throw a little shade their way and get on with life.

I’ve written cryptically today. Some day when I’m old enough to get away with saying whatever I damn well want to, I may tell it all. It’s a cautionary tale to be careful about who you befriend and/or trust especially when stuff is being passed from one generation to the next. For now I don’t generally like it on the internet but it’s part of MY STORY and I realized today that I have reached a milestone of some sort. Onward and here’s to the day I can take at least some showers without thinking about this.

Those packages are not on my dining table today. They were on my table sometime in December 2019. But my table has looked like that for most of 2020. Who knew?

One Response to “Pre-pandemic”

  1. Margaret Says:

    I seem to have many more boxes around these days than I used to! How can that be?? Hmmm. Families are very complicated; I used to rant about some of Patt’s on my blog, but I don’t think my older daughter liked that, so I stopped. I’m still disappointed and angry at them and wonder what in the world they think I did wrong. I left everything up to Patt and respected his wishes. (unlike them) Anyway it’s water under the proverbial bridge; my life now is filled with wonderful people who actually care about me .