Queen of Garbage

This song [YouTube link with an ad] came on the radio last night and the GG was just about beside himself with glee until… I reminded him that it is I, Garbage Woman, who manages the garbage here at the Landfill. And at the Moomin although UKW tried her darndest to usurp my position last summer. I loved it because one of the ways we are alike is we both do garbage. Green Bag Queens 🤣🤣🤣🧡🧡🧡

It’s not that I’m the only person who ever rolls the carts out to the curb around here although I try to beat him to it. I position them in particular places. It is meeee who figures out garbage-related routines. Things like… Freezing potentially stinky stuff until garbage day AND setting a phone alert to REMIND me to put it in the trash. And what goes in the recycle bin…

And it’s me who figures out how to get rid of all the stuff that doesn’t go in the recycle and SHOULDN’T go in the garbage but probably does at many domiciles. So there’s the Scrap Box, which takes a lot of things but very specific ones and I am WAAAAY overdue for a run down there with my billion pristine Plum bags from my curbside days and a few other things. There’s Kiwanis Thrift for almost anything on earth except toxic stuff. And there’s a place to take toxics too. I usually dump worn out crappy clothing into dumpsters dedicated to that purpose and I have my eye on a book drop-off service. Gotta check back and see if they accept engineering textbooks from the 1940s.

Anyway, I am forever being asked, “How do we get rid of this?” and I usually have the information at my fingertips within moments. Now. Do we act on that information? We’re working on it and we’ve been working on it on and off for the last 15 years at least.

The photoooo is from a garbage day in April 2020 and if I remember accurately it is graupel coming down – not snow – although Old Man Winter is certainly capable of throwing snowballs at us in April (and May) here.

I posted this pic on Facebook at the time and one of my more judgmental “friends” marveled at “all that garbage”. Well… Two of those carts are full of leaves and other bits of COMPOSTABLE yard waste. Then there’s a recycle cart that’s probably pretty full, given this was in April 2020… And then. Dun dun dun… The actual GARBAGE cart. Most weeks there’s a single bag of kitchen garbage. The last couple weeks there were two because the indoor garbage smelled so bad halfway through the week I had to take it outside. And that means wasting a garbage bag, which I hate but I do my best to keep any OCD tendencies over in the corner where they belong. Every other week or three, there’s an additional bag from the bathroom.

Cheers to all Garbage Women (and raccoons) and g’night!

P.S. The YouTube garbage song singers are John Prine and one of my faves Iris Dement[ed], who I HATED the first time I heard her in front and center seats at the Ark folk fest (it was LOUD) but quickly grew to appreciate her HUGE talent!

2 Responses to “Queen of Garbage”

  1. Margaret Says:

    Freezing stinky garbage is genius! I would definitely need a reminder to put it in the can though. I’m trying to get rid of stuff from the garage by feeding into my nearly empty trash can every week. Since I’m in New York, I haven’t been able to do that and I can’t expect my younger daughter to know my plan. I’m hoping to get back into my routine once I’m home.

  2. Pooh Says:

    “Who’s gonna take the garbage out”, reminds me of another favorite of the GG — “Throw another log on the fire”, and one of my favorites, “Stand by your man”.