Teach your children/parents well

People often ask me if I have talked to or spent time with my daughters recently. Well yes and no. For one thing, I think we’re all still giving a nod to distancing at least until we get boostered.

And we aren’t big phone talkers, although one of the beach urchins facetimed us on Sunday. She had texted to ask where the GG was and I said I didn’t know. I thought he was at Hoton Lake but didn’t see his vee-hickle on the webcam. I wasn’t worried and it turned out I had no reason to be because (as I shoulda realized) he had parked it out of sight so he could rake some leaves. Also, the garage door was open, which I missed. Anyway I joined the call with the usual trepidation but then probably monopolized the conversation as usual 🐽

But I do talk to both my beach urchins frequently. The younger texts when there’s something to talk about. I don’t mean Big Issues, mostly pedestrian things like can I come over and borrow the oil pan, etc. Or travel plans and updates. She doesn’t live near us but she works a couple blocks away and I often see her there when I get grocks during “senior” shopping hours. Note that the store doesn’t *have* “senior” shopping hours. I make my own “senior” hours by going there as soon as it opens. Almost nobody else is in there then.

The other beach urchin? We have been texting EVERY day since I restarted my NYT xword habit last summer (at her gentle urging). We also do the NYT spelling bee. We text our progress without spoilers thank you very much until we get as far as we get. We ALWAYS finish the xword (yes, even the Saturday) and I bet our average times are about equal. Sometimes the puzz is more in her wheelhouse than mine or vice versa. This is fun and a low key way for an adult mother and daughter to connect.

I have long been a bit skeptical about phone calls but that was the only way I could talk to my parents when I was young and I think I was better at that kind of conversation then. I also think I was quite “emo” as a young person and sometimes needed to talk to my parents. Although I certainly didn’t tell them everything that was going on in my life. And they didn’t ask.

Later, when my kids were school aged, I treasured the evenings they were out somewhere and I could get on the phone with The Commander. She would download all the Birch Point Beach / Sault Ste. Siberian gossip into my eagerly awaiting brain and we would gnoff and gnoff at various people’s antics.

This got hard in the last couple years of her life. She did not have dementia but she struggled with two-way conversations, phone or face-to-face. On the other hand, she had an iPhone and I was able to teach her to text! Go figger.

Don’t you ever ask them, “Why?”
If they told you, you would cry
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you”

Crosby Stills Nash & Young, 1969 [youTube link with ad]

One Response to “Teach your children/parents well”

  1. Margaret Says:

    Communication can be difficult. I don’t enjoy talking on the phone but texting is so sterile. I did see one daughter face to face today which was nice. The other FaceTimed from New York–also good although Grandson wanted the iPhone and had a melt down when he couldn’t have it.