Read at your own risk.

purpleHow many ways am I mad at the world today? I can’t count ’em. This was a black day. I don’t totally know why. I wanted to be anywhere than where I was. I am working on the most boring task that that my team ever has to do. I have escaped it for the last couple of project cycles. This time it’s my turn. It’s okay. It has to get done. But it is stultifying work, especially when others have more interesting things to do at the moment. I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel on this task but I am not finished with it yet. By two o’clock this afternoon, I could hardly keep my eyes open. And then, when I got home, I realized that there had been a load of laundry in the dryer for TWO days! I am not Suzie Homemaker here but I am not one of those people who routinely lives with mounds and mounds of dirty laundry around. Never have been. I cycle through laundry frequently enough that it never stacks up. I fold it and then whoever it belongs to is responsible for putting it away. Except for towels and things. I do those. It’s really not a hard job at all and so I can’t figure out why I have suddenly let a load go for two blasted days. And then there was the adventure of trying to hose out the A2 garbage cart with a high-pressure hose nozzle. Or not (high-pressure), since it was infested with ants or something. Yes, we take care of our tools around here. And I wasn’t even excited about the *package* I received today. It’s just a couple of new pairs of polartech socks because all of my polartech socks are full of holes and we definitely need polartech socks around here in the summer. To wear with hiking sandals, don’tcha know. And. And. And. Sigh… As I am writing this I am thinking how lame I am and how it really wasn’t such a bad day at all and I really do not have anything to complain about at all. I just somehow managed to put myself into a black hole today and couldn’t quite get myself to crawl out of it. It was one of those days when my job wasn’t interesting enough to keep me from lusting after my vagabond days, even though I know only too well that those days were often filled with angst about whether my life had any meaning and whether I would ever find something constructive to do with it and a halfway decent salary wouldn’t be too bad either. And now I have all that and I know that the grass is not any greener on the vagabond side of the fence. It’s just a different kind of grass. Wow, I am really getting out there, aren’t I? I warned you not to read this! And there was no blasted newspaper today!!!

Okay. I am done. We are about to go to Knight’s to meet our friends for dinner. And I have a vacation (paid!!!) coming up in a couple weeks, or less than that now. Although some parts of my vacation will not be very vacation-y, my beautiful [grown-up] baby Lizard Breath will be with me and I do not see her often enough. And my mouse. And there will be cousins and octo-folks and other northern correspondents galore. So now I will go and wash my face and head on out and hopefully (knock on wood) tomorrow will be a better day.

Kayak Woman

3 Responses to “Read at your own risk.”

  1. grandmothertrucker Says:

    where do you get your polartech socks from? I need some.

    you have a fabulous life. in the grand scheme of life, you won the game already. think about it. you have a house, marriage, great kids, cottages, a good job, all that great stuff you like to do, big family, friends, your health …. think about it. i bet you have a retirement planned too.

  2. Margaret Says:

    I happen to believe that we have the right to our dark moods–and when things don’t go right, we are allowed to be upset. It means that we want life to be BETTER; what’s wrong with that? Better to leave the laundry in the dryer for two days than in the washer–ick. I do laundry every day, less when the girls aren’t here.

  3. rabbi ann white Says:

    Think of it this way: your dark mood added balance to your otherwise bright life.
    don’t read this during a dark mood or you will want to strangle me; my son does when I remind him of this.