I wonder if anybody ever called Queen Elizabeth “Lizard Breath.”

I have been assigned the horse, uh, hey, who’s my horse? Grok grok. It’s Street Sense, y’ stoopid ol’ bag. grok grok. Street Sense. Thanks, Froog. The Mad Scientist has prepared his annual slurry and his horse is Scat Daddy. I think that Scat Daddy is a horrible name for a horse. Yes, I know horses poop. I’ve been to Mackinac Island more times than I can count.

I usually pick my own derby horse. I do it by which name I like the best, not by what the odds are. One year, I picked Green Alligator. Now, *that* was a name! I was scoffed at but then Green Alligator actually came in fourth! So there!

You can pick horses by their names if you aren’t doing any betting. And I’m not. I am not much of a gambler. I was pretty good at penny poker on the band bus back in 7th grade. Bet they don’t allow *that* any more, eh? But all these fancy casinos and things I just do not understand. We went to one once, to celebrate a relative’s birthday. I like the relative a lot but, from the get-go, I did not care for the casino. Smoke and noise and expensive drinks and a cheesy band in which one saxophone player never blew even a single note, just danced around with a big grin on her face. The GG stuffed a twenty into my hand and said something like, “go put that into one of those slot machines.” I didn’t want to be too much of a party pooper, so I did. And promptly lost *all* of it. NEVER AGAIN!

This year, I don’t find any of the horse names all that appealing. No Green Alligator or Sinister Minister. So I’ll stick with my assigned Street Sense and we’ll drink our yearly mint julep. It’ll all be over in a couple minutes and after we sing My Old Kentucky Home, we’ll switch over to Prairie Home and get on with our boring lives.

What horse did you pick? And do you think anyone ever called the Queen of England “Lizard Breath?”

4 Responses to “I wonder if anybody ever called Queen Elizabeth “Lizard Breath.””

  1. kayak woman Says:

    Street Sense: won the Derby, coming up from 19th. Out of 20! Scat Daddy: came in 18th.

  2. Webmomster Says:

    YAY!! KW wins the pool!! (er, what was the take? Another julep?) >>:->>

  3. kayak woman Says:

    Actually, I don’t really like mint juleps very well. Too sweet. 🙂

  4. jane Says:

    Like Bill, I chose Scat Daddy. I was at a friends house for a Kentucky Derby/Cinco de Mayo party. we all picked a horse and tossed in a dollar each. as with the demolition derby, this makes it much more interesting – a vested interest. We opted for mojitos instead of the deadly Mint Julep. I went to the Kentucky Derby a few times back in the day. it is one heck of a party I tell ya!

    and my guess – no one ever called Queen Elizabeth Lizard Breath. at least not to her face! off with their heads!