Ding Dong, Avon calling. Well, no not Avon but I’d’ve sent Avon packing too. Makeup? I don’t need no stinkin’ make-up. Although I do wear make-up. TLDR.

This guy was selling pest exterminating services. I did not slam the door in his face like I wanted to. The door was open (like it always is) when he approached it. I was polite, offering FIRM no thank yous throughout the conversation. Questions questions questions. I answered a couple of them. How long have you lived here? I answered that cryptically. I mean, he wasn’t even a twinkle in his daddy’s eye when we bought this house. Is it a nice neighborhood? If it wasn’t, we’d’ve probably moved. Have you ever hired a professional exterminator before? Nope. (And I’m not gonna hire you.)

He was dying to detail all of the wondrous stuff his business could do for me and at that point, I accepted one of his flyers (and put it immediately in the recycle). I told him (AGAIN!) NO THANK YOU but good luck.

My brain went away and processed that startling encounter for over 24 hours (this happened yesterday) and this afternoon, it regurgitated some interesting information. We have never had a pest problem persistent enough to seek out a professional exterminator. The mice go in, the mice go out (the mice play pinochle on your snout). It is random. Ants? We have had a few ants recently but they seem to have subsided. Nothing I would call an exterminator about. So I have a script for the next time that issue comes up at the door. “We don’t have a problem.”

One thing I miss about the bad old days of the original covid virus is we did NOT get door to door solicitors.

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