Death Biathlon

I wish I had a recording of Mouse, oh, at about the age of eight, saying, “Dad took us on a death march.” With a tone of complete, absolute, utter disgust, emphasis on the word “Dad.” I do not have such a recording and Mouse never actually said that. I’m paraphrasing something she did say one day, “Dad said the D word once and the P word twice!” I can remember it as clearly as a bell. The three of them had just emerged from the jeep after some sort of little Saturday afternoon junket around the Planet Ann Arbor and I do not remember just exactly what had happened but *nobody* looked very happy.

The GG is a master at leading people on death marches, one of the most famous of which happened in the badlands on The Lizard’s 10-year-old trip. I wasn’t there that time but I went there a few years later and I can easily see how a hike in the badlands could turn into a death march. That was also the trip on which they were in a tornado in a Minnesota campground and a tree fell on their tent and an Australian lady in the shelter said, “Oi miss moi mommy too but she’s moils away.”

Today, we went on a death biathlon. I got up at 5:45 am and we were out the door by 6:40. We hid our kayaks in the bushes at the Chase Bridge put-in on the South Branch of the Au Sable River north of Roscommon, then drove on up and parked in the Smith Bridge parking lot. We walked the Mason Tract foot-trail all the way down to the kayaks, then launched the kayaks and paddled back to the car. I think it’s somewhere around an eleven mile trip each way. It took us 3-1/4 hours to walk and a little less than 2-1/2 to paddle. The GG is dead to the world but he promises GPS-generated statistics a little later. Me? I think I’ll walk down to the point and back.

5 Responses to “Death Biathlon”

  1. Webmomster Says:

    I *think* I could pick out who is the Nuclear-Powered member of this team, with one brain tied behind my back


  2. Jay Says:

    I am planning to talk a 7 mile in-the-city march tomorrow, starting at 8 AM. It is supposed to be hot – maybe summer is here at last.

    Then I told the FEMA guy working on our windstorm damage (at work – from December) that I would probably be in the office in the afternoon, so he could bring up the last papers to sign. Since he is working weekends I thought I should return the favor. Contrary to popular FEMA bashing, the paper pushers are pretty good, reasonable and nice.

    Happy weekend.

  3. mouse Says:

    that was the sneak, not me

  4. kayak woman Says:

    Well, whoever! But WTH *happened* on that trip anyway? Do either of you little munchkins remember?

    And, Jay, how did your hike go?

  5. » Blog Archive » Hang a luigi onto Main Says:

    […] I feel like I’ve done a death biathlon today. I did my usually 0-dark-30 neighborhood prowl, went to work, walked at lunch, came home, […]