Smart bombs and shoreline dreams

Boy was I cranky when I woke up this morning. It is hot and we are being hardcore about not turning on the central A/C. That’s one thing. Number two? Well, I woke up just a wee bit later than that batscope hour of the morning. It was about 4:30 or so. I used the Blue and Only Bathroom. I remember getting back into bed and thinking how comfortable I was and that I had another hour or so to sleep or just kind of ruminate about things. Listen to the birdies wake up. But then. beep beep beep Squreeeeeeeakchkchkchkchkch!!!!

Yes, it was our smoke rain alarm. Why why why why why why, when smoke rain alarms run out of battery, why why why why why do they have to run out of battery in the middle of the night? I badgered the GG. “Did you hear that????” “Mumble mumble huh was that the smoke alarm?” YESSSS!. There followed a bunch of scrambling and fumbling around and finally he pulled the circuit breaker on the alarms. Silence…

Again, I am not sure why, when all three of the bedrooms in this god-forsaken one-story house are squinched together next to the teensiest tinesiest little “hall” you could imagine, we need a smoke alarm in each one AND the “hall”. Especially since we rarely shut the bedroom doors. It’s CODE. Don’tcha know? Fer kee-reist, couldn’t we have some common sense here!

Please please please pretty please with sugar and a few cherries on top, can we PLEASE get some “smart” smoke alarms? It is 2012, fer kee-reist. If a smoke alarm can detect actual smoke, it can also detect when there is NOT smoke. And so why in the hell does it have to go into full-tilt boogie alarm mode when the battery runs out in the middle of the night? Why can’t it think to itself something like, “There’s no reason to alarm these peacefully sleeping people about the battery running out, so I will just wait until tomorrow morning to let them know.” Or it could email me that the battery is running out. Or text message. Or whatever. C’mon smoke alarm guys, make it happen.

Anyway, after a whole bunch of fumbling around by the long suffering GG (and just *try* to tell me that climbing up on a chair or whatever in the middle of the night is safe, liability folks), I was able to settle down again. Alas, not only did I go into REM mode… I went into Shoreline Dream mode! Giant seiche, 40-foot wave going *out* from shore, then anti-seiche, i.e., water was up over the bank and beach was totally submerged. And then a bunch of us were up in the lighthouse in front of Don / Katie’s to watch (roight). I kept running off to find my phone camera, which is really stupid because I *always* have my phone in my pocket. I woke up on time but that was only because of my clock radio. I hate when REM dreams happen just before I have to get up. Groggy cranky…

It is now the evening of the day and I am catching sight of faaaarflies outta the corner of my eye.

Love y’all,

3 Responses to “Smart bombs and shoreline dreams”

  1. Margaret Says:

    We have a zillion smoke alarms in this house and unless I religiously change the batteries(expensive), one of them chirps in the middle of the night during the winter. I can never easily locate which one either. It’s a real PAIN.

  2. Pooh Says:

    The smoke alarm in the hall outside of our bedroom is right next to the kitchen, so it goes off when there’s burned on crud in the oven. “Um, Bubs, I have to hang up now, dinner is ready — the smoke detector just went off!” Yours must be fancier if it’s attached to the circuit breaker, ours just run on batteries.

  3. kayak woman Says:

    Ours are no doubt fancier but that isn’t really by choice. The last time a tree fell on our house, it damaged a bedroom & the Blue & Only Bathroom. Building codes dictated that we get hard-wired alarms in all three bedrooms plus the “hall”. They ALSO have batteries, I suppose in case the power goes out. I am all for smoke alarms but implementation of this particular requirement in our particular situation is extreme overkill.