It’s Thursday and that is not my fave day in general. I don’t think I even noticed that fact until I became a daily blahgger. When I was a teenager and was beginning to comtemplate life, death, the universe, and everything in a more comprehensive way than I did when I was three (or I was at least better able to articulate my world-view better), we still lived on Superior Street, and Sunday night was my worst time. I’m gonna guess that it was because there was nothing good on TV and Bad Boyfriend wasn’t calling me. I didn’t have a lot of friends and hanging out with the parents was difficult for whatever the reason of the week was and so I was stuck in my room feeling bored and angsty about not being one of the popular kids. Dancing by myself to the Beatles, the Stones, Motown, the Cream, Jimi Hendrix, and who knows who else. Dreading yet another week of high school and having to dodge around trying to make myself look dumber than I was for fear that boys and popular kids wouldn’t like me but still getting decent enough grades to get into college someday…

Yes, I really did struggle with that stuff. I was an extremely angsty teenager living in a small northern town, born to a “prominent” family but also a humble and honest one, at least that’s how I think about my family. I finally ditched BB for good (after he had ditched *me* a number of times and then came back, I finally decided I was done with that and “grew a pair”). I eventually met another boyfriend who was actually *in* college and valued education. I straightened up PDQ and have aimed for straight A report cards throughout the rest of my life. And have [mostly] achieved them. And yes, I valued myself (at that time in my life) by what other people thought of me — especially boys. We all do that to an extent but I took it to an extreme. What the *heck* was I thinking? Well, and then I met the GG and 30 years later…

I do NOT recommend that any young woman (or man!) follow my path of trying to act dumb in a misguided attempt to find friends. Some of those popular people are arrogant assholes. Some of those popular people are nice, charismatic people who are just living in their own space and care but can’t adopt every miserable geek or mugwump that comes along. Some of those popular people are struggling just as much as all of us unpopular mugwumps but they have been “adopted” by some of the popular people, whatever variety. And umpteen bazillion variations on all of that. When I have [thank you facebook] reconnected with some of my “popular” high school co-horts, they have been absolutely wonderful to me and I can only say that it is *me* who has changed over the years. These folks have been wonderfully friendly to me (and the GG) and I love them.

Am I popular now? Hmmm… No, I am not. I have a small number of really good friends and they are mostly my friends because they didn’t give up on me. They somehow saw something in me that made me worth getting to know better. I may not have called them up for a second “date” because I just figured *they* were popular and *I* wasn’t. They realized that I am meeee and they sought me out anyway.

Oh, so (lost my train of thought) why is Thursday my worst day? Because it seems to be the day that I tend to run out of things to blahg! Today?

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 21st, 2012 at 6:28 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.