December 28th. It is my (late) cousin Cathy’s birthday. She was born a few weeks before me and when I was a kid I was ALWAYS green with envy that she was OLDER than me. And that she had beautiful white-blonde hair. Her hair was *naturally* white-blonde her whole life. And that she married her high-school boyfriend in her early twenties, during a time I could not find a decent boyfriend to save my life 🐽🐽🐽. And that she lived in a big city with loverly stores like the downtown J. L. Hudson’s, while I lived in the god-forsaken yooperland.

I was certainly preoccupied by being envious of people when I was a kid. So. I was a tow-head as a small child but my hair darkened into “dishwater blonde” as I grew up, which isn’t all that bad in the long run. I thank my lucky stars that I didn’t marry Bad Boyfriend. We would *certainly* be long divorced (as Cathy was…). Big city? Meh. I did love shopping at the downtown Hudson’s when we visited my Detroit grandparents but I bet in the grand scheme of things, Cathy didn’t shop at the downtown Hudson’s any more often than I did. And we all know what happened to Detroit after the era our grandparents (Cathy’s and mine) lived there. Detroit is coming back after a fashion and I love going down there but the downtown Hudson’s of my youth will never return.

Do NOT get me wrong. I LOVED Cathy and I was always excited when we were able to be together, which wasn’t often because we lived 350 miles apart. Our families did visit and Cathy’s mom was my mom’s fave sister Charlotte, also my fave aunt in the MacMu fam! I do not have words about why I was envious of Cathy (and other cousins), at least not tonight. We all have our own insecurities to deal with. I haven’t totally outgrown mine but I can laugh about most of them now.

So, back in 2004, Cathy died. She was ill but her death was not imminent when an infection grabbed her and dragged her under. When I started writing this, I was thinking she had died on her birthday but I quickly realized it was earlier in the month, on the day of that year’s cFam xmas party and I don’t remember what day that was. It was her memorial that was held on her birthday.

I am pretty sure it was my brother who called me to report Cathy’s death. I have always known and loved all of my cousins on both sides of my fam. I am one of 11 FinFam grandchildren and one of nine MacMu grandchildren and age-wise I’m in the middle on both sides. Cathy was the first grandchild on either side to die. Little did I know that my brother would be next (second of the MacMus and first of the FinFam). We haven’t lost anybody else yet and I hope we keep it that way for now.

Apocalypse tomorrow? We are supposed to get torrential rain and maybe t-storms tomorrow. This is unusual weather for the southeast Great Lake State at this time of year but not unheard of at all. But we’ll see what we get.

Happy birthday my dear cousin wherever you are.

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