You’ve heard of Imposter Syndrome? When you are regarded as more of an expert than you think you are. Something like that.

When I got my Childhood Job, it was pretty clear I got it via connections. A cousin who worked for the company, a manager who may have thought I was “cute”. I had no IT experience whatsoever and still had to get over the hurdle of an interview with Byron, who would be my immediate supervisor. I am TERRIBLE at job interviews and I could tell he was skeptical about me but he took a chance. Except for maybe the first six months or so (more on that some other time) when I felt like an imposter, I grew into that job until I OWNED it. Are you bored, KW? Teach yourself FORTRAN… Byron and I grew to be good friends and when I had my children, he valued me enough as an employee that he jumped through hoops to get the company to give me a part time job. If he ever thought I was “cute”, he never said anything and that was a good thing.

I own my Adult Job too but I occasionally still feel like an imposter. I got this job by a connection too but it was a different kind of connection. I had been taking community college classes and a beloved professor matched me with the company I now work for for an internship. I won’t describe my three months as an intern there (at least not today) but suffice it to say that except for being able to write a complete sentence and do html and javascript, I wasn’t ever sure if I was a valued worker or not except that the LCSHP (who hired me) seemed to like me. It was NOT because I was “cute”(!) but was it because I had an iPhone? (This was fall 2007 and I’m kidding 😉)

I was (and yet somehow wasn’t) surprised when the LSCHP offered me a full time boogity-boogity Corporate America job and it was a hard decision to accept it. Did I give up my then carefree existence for MONEY? Oh yes, you know I did. But here I am after all these years (13) sometimes still feeling like an imposter. I did today but it turned out fine. I actually don’t think feeling a bit humble is a bad thing. As long as you can bluff if you need to.

One Response to “Imposter”

  1. Margaret Says:

    You have the qualities of an excellent employee–intelligent, creative, hard-working and talented at problem solving. None of those attributes is flashy, which is probably why you feel like an imposter sometimes.