stripsSelf confidence is not my strong suit. Anybody who knows me from way back when probably knows that. But I do interact with plenty of people that know me *now* and I am always surprised when I make an off-hand comment about being shy or low in self-esteem and they reply with, “You!?!” It’s true, I’m more confident these last few years. Or maybe it’s just that I hide it better. Part of it is realizing [finally] that I’m not the only person in that particular boat. Another part is realizing that those who are uber-social extroverted high-achievers have their own problems. I know that because I actually have friends in that category. I’m never exactly sure why they would hang around with me but sometimes they do. Mind you, these are not the captains of industry, in general I think some of *those* people are CRAZY!!!

But I am who I am and yesterday was a series of minor defeats in every part of my life and, when I got home at the end of the day, my tail was between my legs. It stayed there throughout the night and I went to the schoolyard and there were all kinds of kids there and I was missing the years that I would take my tiny little children over there — even the night the bomb went off — and I got mad at the GG because I was feeling bad about myself and he took off on a ride in the Ninja somewhere. And that’s okay. He was right to be mad at me and, after 26 (almost 27) years of marriage, that is okay! Heck, it was okay at seven years of marriage but we didn’t necessarily know it back then. Anyway, my tail stayed between my legs today until, oh I dunno, about 3:30 PM when I *finally* forced myself down into my dungeon “studio” to try to do some “creative” work. With fabric, don’tcha know. I’ve got that one room of the dungeon cleared out enough that I can actually *see* what fabric I have. It looks like a fabric store down there. And I am intent on using a lot of that up before I die. I am not gonna leave my beach urchins — the ones I missed immensely today — all my fabric.

5 Responses to “Blerrrrrrrrrrrgggggg”

  1. Jan Miller Says:

    We all have days like you describe. Sometimes I’m very lonely here on the beach, I know that is hard to understand. We’ve been here seven years, but I don’t have the friends here that I have in Indiana. I also miss the kids, and grandkids. William and Buzz both had birthdays this week, so naturally it would have been fun to be with them! Work is good for both Pete and me, because we get out with other people, and have to use our brains!

  2. Margaret Says:

    I am sure missing when my kids were little, OH, YES!! It’s been a day from hell around here. Hopefully, it won’t get any worse. Hang in there and I’ll try to as well. P.S. My therapy was mowing the lawn and going for a run.

  3. grandmothertrucker Says:

    Hey ANNE!! It is National Mint Julep Day!!!! So, have one… or two….. or three…… and have one for me!!!

    I love all those fabrics!!! I wish I had time to play with my fabrics. You are lucky.

    Remember the purse I have where the fabric was weaved? Make one of those!

    Go Red Wings

  4. mouse Says:

    grokGROK! I walked all around and up and down those hills today, so I was thinking about you too. <3 <3 <3

  5. ann white Says:

    My office is covered with last week’s books; and this week’s new projects; — but I am motivated to clean it tomorrow, on a beautiful Sunday, because i long for yet another project when needs to come from the garage into my home. Movin’ things in; movin’ things out.
    The stuff we have — do we ever remember why it is so important? New project, however, indeed starts tomorrow. nature rabbi