Self confidence is not my strong suit. Anybody who knows me from way back when probably knows that. But I do interact with plenty of people that know me *now* and I am always surprised when I make an off-hand comment about being shy or low in self-esteem and they reply with, “You!?!” It’s true, I’m more confident these last few years. Or maybe it’s just that I hide it better. Part of it is realizing [finally] that I’m not the only person in that particular boat. Another part is realizing that those who are uber-social extroverted high-achievers have their own problems. I know that because I actually have friends in that category. I’m never exactly sure why they would hang around with me but sometimes they do. Mind you, these are not the captains of industry, in general I think some of *those* people are CRAZY!!!

But I am who I am and yesterday was a series of minor defeats in every part of my life and, when I got home at the end of the day, my tail was between my legs. It stayed there throughout the night and I went to the schoolyard and there were all kinds of kids there and I was missing the years that I would take my tiny little children over there — even the night the bomb went off — and I got mad at the GG because I was feeling bad about myself and he took off on a ride in the Ninja somewhere. And that’s okay. He was right to be mad at me and, after 26 (almost 27) years of marriage, that is okay! Heck, it was okay at seven years of marriage but we didn’t necessarily know it back then. Anyway, my tail stayed between my legs today until, oh I dunno, about 3:30 PM when I *finally* forced myself down into my dungeon “studio” to try to do some “creative” work. With fabric, don’tcha know. I’ve got that one room of the dungeon cleared out enough that I can actually *see* what fabric I have. It looks like a fabric store down there. And I am intent on using a lot of that up before I die. I am not gonna leave my beach urchins — the ones I missed immensely today — all my fabric.

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 30th, 2009 at 7:21 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.