Grok grokgork frogidk! It’s Valintimes Day!!! It’s Valintimes Day!!! Grokgork! Ol’ Baggy is a Valintimes Day Scroooooge. She hands out icky stuff like chocklit cuvvered spinnich. She is laffin’ her yoo-no-whut off rite now becuz stoopid ol’ Barbeeee left stoopid ol’ Ken fer a cyoot Aussy ‘n’ then stoopid ol’ Ken got ‘er bak agin sumhow. Ol’ Baggy thinks stoopid ol’ Barbeeee wud beeee better off with th’ cyoot Aussy. Er maybeeee withOUT th’ cyoot Aussy. And without Ken…

Enyway, yer fav-o-rite froog haz tookin over Ol’ Baggy’s crumbly ol’ ‘puter. She didn’ even fuss about it much this time, I gess she’s usin’ that stoopid ol’ iPad. So, click on my li’l thermommyter down thare ifya wanna heer my beeyootyful voice wishin’ yoo a happy Valintimes Day. Grok gork gork grok! Oh, ‘n’ that’s meeeee ‘n’ my fave Greeeeen Guy thare in th’ photooo. Weeee are warin’ sekint heds o’ hare ‘n’ I hav my babushka on ‘n’ Greeeeen Guy is in his Santy Claus soot as usual. ‘n’ weeee are not drunk! Ol’ Baggy ‘n’ her cuzzint Uber Kayak Woman set that pitcher up. Thaaaaay wer th’ ones drinkin’ the B&B! Grok grok gork!

Grokgrokgrok frgok!!! Nobuddy told meeeee thare wuz a froooog in Mouse’s play! Frok grok. He wuz pritty good but he wuzzn’ as cute as li’l ol’ meeeee. Heeee didn’ hav even one li’l bit o’ perpul about th’ eyes. Like meeee. Grok grokgrok. Ol’ Baggy hid th’ keeeez t’ my flyin’ musheen so I had t’ go t’ th’ play with Ol’ Baggy ‘n’ th’ Grumpee Ol’ Growler. ‘n’ heeeee wuz ‘speshly embarissin’ cuz heee wuz warin’ a bunch o’ ol’ Stormee Kromer cloz ‘n’ hoppin’ aroun’ actin’ like a ol’ yooper er sumth’n. ‘n’ Ol Baggy wuz harumfin’ around actin’ all morty-fide about it all witch is reeeeelly stoooopid becuz Ol’ Baggy is a reeeeel yooper! GrokgrokgrokGROK!

We ate at this restyront beefor th’ play ‘n’ thar wer all theez cute li’l ol’ ladeeees eetin’ thare too. Grok grok. A lot like The Commander xcept thay wer tellin’ reeeel storeees ‘n’ thay wern’t doin’ MicMullin blindsides ‘n’ things. one o’ them wuz tellin’ a cute li’l storee about her grandotter steelin’ her rooooommates boyfrend ‘n’ goin’ t’ the arohteesee millytary ball. Ol’ Baggy wuddn’t leeve until th’ storeeee wuz dun ‘n’ then th’ li’l ol’ ladeee said, “Oh yoo noe how theez girlz liv in apartmints t’gether ‘n’ all th’ boyz come around t’ visit.” Ol’ Baggy just about snorted ‘er whine outta ‘er noze at that, o boy o boy oooo. Grokgrok Grokwejok grdok.

‘n’ then we got t’ th’ play ‘n’ ol’ Stormee, er woops, I meen th’ Grumpee Growler, gits all excited about plays ‘n’ he wuz buggin’ sum o’ Mouse’s frends sittin’ behind us in th’ oddy-ince. ‘n’ Ol’ Baggy wuz twitterin’ and playin’ sollytare on ‘er stooopid ol’ phone cuz she can’t sit still, don’tcha knoooow. Grok grok grok. ‘n’ then. ‘n’ THEN. Th’ peepul in front o’ Ol Baggy started talkin’ about Mouse ‘n’ how pritty she wuz ‘n’ thay wer wunderin’ if Mouse wuz ‘er reeeel name ‘n’ wether ‘er muvver named ‘er that!!! grokGrokgrokGROK!!! Ol’ Baggy didn’t say one werd but it wuz shure a good thing she didn’t hav eny whine thare cuz sheeee wuz laffin’ so hard, she prob’ly wudda spit it all over those pore peepul. GrokgorkGrokGROK!

Enyway, nooooowwww Ol’ Baggy is past out ‘n’ I em takin’ over ‘er stooopid ol’ blawg!!! I em typin’ with my feeeet on th’ iPad! Grokgrokgorsdk frgok GROK!!! ‘n’ wen I’m dun with th’ blawg, I’m gunna find th’ keeez t’ my flyin’ musheen! grokkkkkgrokfrgok grok!

Grok grok grok. Ifya wanna heer my latest li’l ditty, click on my li’l thermommy-ter down thare.

Th’ ol’ grumper is outta town ‘n’ Ol’ Baggy cud not git that ol’ tornado vakum cleen’r t’ power up, so she bot this beest. Grok Grok. She wuz all eksited ‘n’ she sed sump’n like “Oh, Froggy’ll do all th’ vackyumin’ now. This thing is skary ‘n’ I wuz upside down fer awhile. What if Ol’ Baggy makes me do all th’ blastid vackyumin’ now. Grok grok grok, grodko

Grok grok grok! Gess ware I em!!! C’n y’ see? C’n y’ see th’ ol’ blu anjils bak thare. Naw mabee y’ can’t! Grok grok grok! I stoed away in Ol’ Baggy’s baggidge! Grok grok. Hay, that’s prittee funnee thare, Ol’ Baggy’s baggidge. Git it! Grok grok! Ferst o’ all, Ol’ Baggy almost didn’ git t’ git on th’ plane ’cause th’ Ol’ Grumper made ‘er plane reservashun in th’ wrong name so ‘er bordin’ pass didn’ match ‘er driver’s lisuns. Sum grumpee ol’ bag at th’ baggidge counter fixt it after a bunch o’ kumplanin’ tho. Grok grok. ‘n’ then a hole bunch o’ ol’ party guys wer sittin’ on th’ ol’ plane behind Ol’ Baggy ‘n’ Mouse in ol’ Dee-troit Metro ‘n’ thay tried t’ throw Ol’ Baggy’s baggage off th’ plane!!! With meeeeeeeee in it!!!! Thay wer on thare way t’ Saskatchy-wan t’ go huntin’ fer sump’n. I hope it wuzzn’t frogs!! Grok grok. Mouse didn’ think thay smelled vary good but Ol’ Baggy wuz partyin’ away with th’ ol’ huntin’ boyz. Grok grok! ‘n’ then th’ ol’ Grumper almos’ went t’ Seattle becuz wen we wer in Minnyapples, ‘e ‘ad ‘iz blastid eer fonz in wen thay were callin’ seets fer th’ planez. That got a hole bunch o’ ol’ baggy ol’ peepul laffin’!!! Grok grok. ‘n’ then, thay had t’ drag Ol’ Baggy off th’ plane in San Fransisky cuz she got int’ th’ ol’ whine ‘n’ she wuz all past out ‘n’ snorin’ wen th’ plane landed. Enyway, nobuddy found cute li’l ol’ me ’til we got out heer t’ San Fransisky so I’m a-hoppin’ all over th’ plase!!! ‘n’ it’s sump’n calld Ol’ Navy Week er sump’n like that ‘n’ th’ Blu Anjils ar heer ‘n’ thare flyin’ all over th’ plase ‘n’ Ol’ Baggy keeps runnin’ out ‘n th’ street t’ try t’ git a picher o’ them ‘n’ my owner keeps havin’ t’ remind Ol’ Baggy t’ git outta th’ street so she duzzn’t git run over by a streeeeetcar. ‘n’ thare’s sum other stoopid stuff that Ol’ Baggy keeps doin’ too. She’s just a baggy ol’ Yooper! Yoop yoop yoop! Grok grok grok!!

Grok grok. So. Ol’ Baggy wuz asleep on th’ ol’ couch in th’ bak rooom last nite ‘n’ Mouse wuz tryin’ t’ wake th’ ol bag up ‘n’ I was clickin’ my i-balls t’gether ‘n’ it wuzzint werkin’. Enyway, click on my li’l thermommyter t’ heer th’ rest o’ th’ story ‘n’ heer me sing one o’ my favrit li’l ditties too!

Grok grok. It’s Ol’ Baggy’s 6th Glahgiversary but she’s ben celibratin’ so much that’s she’s past out in my londry baskit today so fer wunce I c’n git onta g’rage band. Squee-grok squee-grok grok grok grok. Click on my li’l thermommyter down thare t’ heer what I hav t’ say. Grok grok grok grok!

Grok grok! This ‘s a post frum yer favo-rite frooog, th’ beeyootiful greeeeen one with th’ bits o’ perpul about th’ eyes! Grok grok. Click my li’l thermommyter down thare t’ heer my latest frogcast! Oh yeah, I fergot t’ put in my frogcast that thay wer tawkin’ about TERLETS! Rite thare in th’ fancee hotel! Terlet in a box ‘n’ chamber pot terlet ‘n’ outhouse terlet ‘n’ sumth’n’ about smashin’ ‘n’ crankin’ gaskets ‘n’ all that fun plummin’ stuff. Grok grok slurp grok!

Grok grok! Ol’ Baggy’s gone t’ visit Ol’ Mister Magoo er whoever, so click on ‘er fuzzy ol’ jack in th’ pulpit pitcher fer more o’ her crappy ol’ pitchers. Grok grok. ‘n’ click my cute li’l thermommyter thare t’ lissen t’ my beeyootiful voice.

Grok grok. Ol’ Baggy seems t’ hav g’radge band all lock’d up er sumth’n. grok grok. So I can’t talk t’ ya. grok grok. But while she wuz blatherin’ on th’ tellyfone with th’ ol’ commander, I grab’d ‘er ol’ iPhone. ‘n’ look at th’ perty pitcher I drawed on it. grok grok. thar’s me ‘n’ th’ li’l squeek mousey ‘n’ ol’ Mr. Gold’n Sun ‘n’ a nice tree. grok grok. ‘n’ then I got inta Ol’ Baggy’s ol’ blahg ‘er whatev’r this ol’ bunch o’ blather is ‘n’ post’d it. Grok grok gork frgok!

Grok grok. Green Guy has a new sekint hed o’ hair. And a hole bunch o’ mardy graw beeds. Ol’ Baggy wouldn’ buy eny o’ those fer me. Grok grok. Luv u enyway, Green Guy. Seeya soon. Whutever Ol’ Baggy hadta say taday is not worth readin’.